Tag Archives: self help

5 Reasons Why You’re Unhappy — and How You Can Start Being Happy Today

So maybe you have the awesome house or apartment, a great relationship, and an amazing job.  But despite the fact that everything in your life looks so great on “paper” or upon someone viewing your Facebook or Instagram accounts, for some reason, somehow your just not happy.

What I’ve come to realize that while our societal views on what constitutes a happy and successful person, it’s rare that someone who actually fulfills all of those things are going to be genuinely happy.  Our true happiness is not determined by our external circumstances, but rather our internal focus.

So here are 5 reasons why you may be unhappy — and how you can start being happy today:

#1 – You’re living in the past or future

Out of all the reasons in this list, I think this one is the most impactful of our level of happiness than all of them. 

You’re focused on what you did have in the past or what you could have in the future rather than what you have right now.  Your mind is focused on how things were so great back in “the good ol’ days”.  Or, you’re focused on the idea of how things will be great “someday” in the future.

The reality is that by focusing our attention on the past and the future, all it does is prevent us from really living in and enjoying the present moment, which is the key to really living and being from a place of true joy and happiness.

So when you catch yourself thinking about how things were great in the past or how they could become great in the future, take a deep breath, feel your feet on the floor and look around you.  Notice what you have right now in this moment and how amazing it is to simply be living right here, right now.

#2 – You’re caught up in thoughts of judgement and criticism

Are you caught up in judging yourself about not being “good enough”?  Are you often trying to, somehow, be “perfect”?

Or, on the flip side, do you get up in judging and criticizing other people?  Do you get caught up in criticizing the way a co-worker dresses?  Are you often getting caught up in judging others for their own life choices?

When it comes to judgement and criticism I think it’s important to remember this: When I am judging others, I am judging myself, because we are all intricately connected.

When we are judging and criticizing, its a sign that our ego mind is bringing out our inner critic.  All this does is block us from being able to truly experience love, happiness and joy in the present moment.


Click to Tweet: When I am judging others, I am judging myself, because we are all intricately connected. @jenilyn8705

#3 – You’re seeking fulfillment in material things

Do you find yourself thinking things like: When I’m able to get that house then I’ll be happy, when I’m making six figures I’ll be happy, or when I can get that new car I’ll be happy?

One of the biggest fabrications that our ego mind likes to tell us is that being rich, famous and successful we are somehow going to be living the best lives ever.

While getting a new car, house, and make more money may certainly make our lives easier, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re going to be happy when we get these things.  True happiness comes through our mindset and how we choose to live and be in the world — not a pair of Manolos and some Gucci.

#4 – You’re focused on what you’re getting rather than what you’re giving

To you tend to get caught up in thinking that if you did X favor for Sally then she better give Y favor for you?  Or, do you tend to get caught up in thinking about how much money you’re getting from your employer rather than how much you’re giving at work?

It’s interesting, but often when we’re focused on a mindset of always thinking about what we’re “getting” then there never seems to be enough — there’s always lack.  However, when we shift our mindset and start to focus more on what we’re giving, then we are able to see what we are actually receiving.  In turn, we can then find ourselves more grateful and content with what it is that we do have right here, right now.

#5 – You’re trying to push your feelings of sadness, worry, and anger away

In the world of self-help and personal growth, there’s a lot of talk out there about a need to be positive so that you can be happy and joyful and live the best life possible.

Well, I’m going to tell you right now: Thinking that we need to be positive all the time is BS. 

Honestly, it’s not even remotely realistic.  We all have our good days and our bad days.  People die.  Pets die.  Relationships end.  Health issues happen.  We lose jobs.  We move.

And as a result, we cry, we scream, and we worry.  Someone does or says something to hurt us and we struggle to forgive.  We have wounds, addictions, and disorders.

And you know what?  It’s all normal and perfectly okay.  In fact, we need it.  Why?  Because we can’t have light without darkness.  We need both to be whole and to feel complete.

We all have wounds because we’ve all been hurt in various ways and those wounds need our love and attention.  We have to give ourselves time to really truly feel and process those emotions.  When we don’t, this is where other problems can emerge, such as an addiction, an eating disorder, or maybe even a case of depression.

So allow yourself to really truly feel — both the good and the bad, because it is all a part of you, and by loving and accepting it, you can start to tap into your own true authentic happiness.

3 Ways to Reclaim Power Over Our Own Health

For years I was dealing with constant digestive issues and allergies. Regardless of diet or the healthcare practitioner I worked with, I found no relief. This past spring I was fortunate to cross paths with an RN who follows alternative medicine was was able to give me relief – and fast!

Even though her method has practically done miracles for me, for the last three weeks I felt like I mess. My allergies were coming back pretty badly, I had pain in my chest again, my acne was going crazy, and my energy was dwindling. To top all that off, I was stressed, frustrated, and angry over the fact that I even felt like this and I had absolutely NO way of contacting my RN for help.

In the midst of my frustration over this, I went to therapy. I didn’t want to go cause I felt terrible, but I figured maybe I can gain some relief. I vented my frustrations to my therapist and we decided to do a meditation where I basically scanned my body to feel where organs and things were calling for my attention. Luckily, by working with my RN, I was able to have a little bit of a “road map”, but its still difficult to really trust one’s intuition was the ROOT cause is, nonetheless.

Gradually, I felt the root cause was in one particular area and that by focusing on it and sending it some healing energy in the meditation it gave it at least some relief.

So I went home and took some supplements in accordance to that area. Needless to say, within a DAY the pain in my chest was gone. Without consulting ANY health “expert” the pain went away.

This week I had an appointment with my RN and I told her what I did. I told her about the pain I was in and the supplements I took. I felt hesitant and anticipated some lecture. Something along the lines of “You shouldn’t take anything without contacting me first” or “That isn’t what you needed. Now you just messed yourself up even more”. But she didn’t say that at all. In fact, she said something that surprised me, “Yes you were exactly right! You DO need more of that supplement”. She then proceeded to explain to me how each of the supplements I’m taking work so I can better make these types of decisions for myself without consulting her.

Wow, isn’t that empowering? For the first time ever, I had a healthcare practitioner say basically say, “You do know more about your body than me and here’s some guidance to help you retake full control over your own health”.

What an interesting yet slightly bizarre concept: In my head I was hardwired to believe that I can’t make accurate decisions about my own health. And, realistically, how many of us in this world have that SAME exact belief?

I mean, realistically, as recovering people pleasers and codependents it is only natural. If we have the tendency to focus so much on other people and their happiness, then we are also inclined to rely heavily on OTHER people to provide us with all the “answers” to our lives. We struggle to reclaim our own power fully and believe we are capable of knowing what we need.

reclaim power

Here are three essential guidelines I’ve found are necessary to fully reclaiming our inner power:

Accept how you are feeling in your body right now.

The biggest mistake we make is that we reject what is happening. We feel bad and we react with “Agh I don’t want to feel like this”. Its like our ego turns it into this belief of “Maybe if I reject it and push was is away enough it will just go away”, but that never works. It only makes us frustrated, stressed, and ultimately feeling worse. If we accept what is we can then act out of love.

Be loving and patient with you and your body.

We’re not going to make perfect decisions 100%. We’re going to slip up and eat something we probably weren’t supposed to at some point or another. Our body is also going to act up once in a while even though we feel we have done everything right. Just be patient and loving. If you send healing energy of love to yourself each time you don’t feel so well instead of having thoughts of “I hate it that I feel this way” then we can heal much faster.

Trust the bodily sensations and ideas that come to you – even if it doesn’t quite make sense.

This can be difficult to do when you’re trying to overcome things like sugar, caffeine, or cravings of fatty things, but there’s never a bad time to start. If you suddenly get a craving for a healthy food like bananas, then get some bananas. Pay close attention to how you feel as you are eating. If you feel like something isn’t settling as “good” as it should then it’s OKAY to stop eating. Also, if you feel one particular part of your body is very extra “warm”, “tight” or “stuck” in some way then send it some extra healing love energy either by visualizing it as a color or putting it your hand over it and imagining the energy coming out through your hand.


Reclaim Power Over Your Health Today!

Are you finding yourself frustrated over your current health situation? What are you most struggling with? What do you think you most need to focus on in order to reclaim power over your health?