Tag Archives: manifestation

3 Keys to Manifesting a Healthy and Loving Relationship

We all want a healthy and loving relationship.  You know, a relationship filled with compassion, affection, and acceptance.  A relationship where there is respect.

Whether you are single or not, the desire, to some degree, is likely there.  Unfortunately for many of us, even if we are married or in a relationship we can find ourselves wishing that the relationship was different in some ways.  We may feel that the “spark” has gone away and we wish we could find it again. 

Fortunately, regardless of our relationship status, we can give our relationships a “tune up” when we stop to look within ourselves and consciously choose to make some inner shifts.  Here are 3 keys to manifesting a healthy and loving relationship in your life:

#1 – Have an amazing relationship with yourself

If you hate being alone and you’re self-worth is determined by how active your social life is, then you’re going to be giving off a “I need you to validate my self-worth” kind of vibe when out on a date.  If, on the other hand, you enjoy spending time with yourself and feel totally comfortable in your own shoes, then you’re going to be giving off a “I feel comfortable with myself” kind of vibe.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that if you do hate being alone and have a low self-worth that you’re not going to find a boyfriend.  The truth is that you probably would.  However, there would be one big problem: The guy has equally as low of a self-worth as you.  Which, would then create a relationship where both people need the other person to validate their own self-worth.

It’s a foundation built on sand — and it’s certainly not where one wants to be if they truly want a healthy and loving relationship.

So get comfortable in your own shoes.  Spend time with yourself.  Take yourself on dates.  Go to the movies, go to dinner or take a mini-vacation with yourself. 

Treat your body well by exercising and eating healthy.  Do activities that you enjoy doing.  Give yourself things that you know you need.

When we become masters of our own self-care, we are giving ourselves the love that we truly deserve.  So focus on doing amazing things for you, so you can have a great relationship with yourself.  It will help in manifesting that healthy and loving relationship you desire.

MastersSelfCareSelfLove

Click to Tweet: When we become masters of our own self-care, we are giving ourselves the love that we truly deserve. via @jenilyn8705

#2 – Believe that you deserve it

Many of us want a healthy and loving relationship, but, deep down, we don’t believe that we truly deserve it.  Or, we may even think that it’s not possible for us.  Unfortunately, this prevents us from making any kind of progress in getting that loving relationship.

So if you find yourself struggling to believe that you truly deserve it, make a commitment to reframing that mindset.

One way to do this is by saying affirmations.  Every morning or night you can spend some time standing in front of the mirror and stating out loud, “I deserve a healthy and loving relationship”.  Say this 10 times in the morning and 10 times at night for at least 30 days.  You may not notice the shifts right away, but over time you’ll notice a shift.

#3 – Ditch the checklist and, instead, connect with how you want to feel

We all hold expectations.  If you’re single and dating, it may be an expectation that the person you date has a nice car and isn’t working in retail.  If you’re in a relationship, the expectation may be that you want your guy to clean the dishes after he uses them.

When we get ourselves caught up in such expectations it’s like we are creating for ourselves an internal “checklist”.  We have a list in our minds of things that we want and “need” in order to be happy and fulfilled in the relationship.

Unfortunately, these “checklists” take us out of the experience.  It takes us out of what is happening in the moment in your relationship with this other person and, instead, focused on what the person is or isn’t doing.  It’s a way of rating or judging the moment, which blocks us from truly connecting with the other person and experiencing love.

So the key here is that rather than focus on the “checklist” or expectations, we must focus on how it is that we want to feel in the relationship.  Do you want to feel love in your relationship to this other person?  Joy?  Happiness?  A sense of calm?  A place of comfort in their presence?  How do you want to feel in being in the relationship?

When we focus on how it is that we want to feel rather than on the surface-level details, we can find that what we thought we needed, we don’t really “need” after all.  We realize that the “needs” were all arbitrary — and they weren’t helping us get what we truly wanted, which is love.  Rather, they blocked it.

So let go of your “checklist” of expectations and sit back and ask yourself: How do I want to feel?  And then connect to that feeling.  Feel it within your own being and carry it with you throughout the day.  And, eventually, your relationships will start to reflect your internal state.

Take action now!

In the comments below, share with me how you want to feel in your relationship.  Or, if you’re not in a relationship now, share with me how you desire to feel.

4 Things to Remember When You Want to Get Married, But It’s Not Happening

Back when I was in my early to mid-20s I was worried and concerned about getting married, but every attempt to create a stable, loving, and committed relationship turned into an utter failure.

Based on what I’ve learned, here are 4 things to remember when you want to get married, but it’s not happening:

#1 – You gotta focus on making yourself happy.

Be your own best friend.  Learn how to love your life whether there is a guy in your life or not.  The more joyful and loving that you are when alone with yourself, the better because others are going to recognize that energy that you are putting out. 

And trust me — being joyful, happy, and loving is a lot more attractive then being depressed, self-conscious, and anxious.  Just imagine what it’d be like going on a date with someone who is really depressed, self conscious and anxious.  Would you want to go out with them again?  Enough said.

#2 – Know that you deserve and are capable of having a loving relationship. 

We can be happy and joyful in our lives and with ourselves all we want, but if we don’t think that we deserve and are capable of having a loving and joyful relationship that can turn into a successful marriage then it’s not going to happen.  We have to really truly know and believe that we are worthy.

Doing this doesn’t have to be super complicated.  It can happen at any given moment that you choose to fully admit to yourself and the universe what it is that you truly desire and you choose to fully know you are worthy.  And, as a result, the universe can respond very quickly.

I know this very well from experience.  A few years ago I was traveling in Japan after spending several months suffering with the aftermath from a breakup.  I was working on being happy by myself but nothing new came along because I didn’t really believe I was ready for a new relationship.  I deeply believed that I’d screw any new relationship up.  I didn’t trust myself.

While walking around the Golden Pavillion (Kinkai-ju) in Kyoto I saw a section where you could buy candles for various different things and light them for a prayer.  These were all in English so I felt inclined to light one.  At first I rationalized and started telling myself to do one for world peace but my eyes kept going back to one that was for finding love. 

In that moment, finally admitted to myself and the universe my true desire and I knew that I deserved it.  I lit the candle and left — forgetting about it.

Later that day, upon trying to get to the airport, a storm came through that caused me to miss my flight.  I ended up meeting a man in this this stressful situation who helped me with language translations.   This man I ended up having a stable relationship with for about a year.

Which leads me to my next point…

#3 – Always be open to possibilities.

When we have this very specific picture of what it is that we want then we are not going to be open for all of the creative possibilities.  We may overlook or not even allow ourselves to see what is right in front of us. 

It’s okay to have some standards of what you want: Like someone who is honest, loyal, caring, and so on.  But if we’re going so far as to being very particular about how someone looks, their job, or where they grew up then we may be blocking ourselves from being with who we are truly mean to be with.

Also, I think it’s very important to remember that when I say “be open to possibilities” it’s not about letting go of the desire completely.  It’s not about shifting your thoughts in a way to be forcing yourself to be thinking, “I don’t want to get married” because that doesn’t leave you open to the potential of marriage ever.  It’s like going up to the universe and saying “I’m closing up shop” and the universe is thinking, “But, wait, I had all these customers lined up for you.  What gives?”

The key is to learn how to get into a neutral space of “I am happy and love my life no matter what happens”.  It’s about letting go of any concern or worry about the outcome and being open for all creative possibilities. That creates the foundation for a real change (or miracle) to occur, internally and, ultimately, externally.

FoundationForChange

Click to Tweet: When we let go of concerns about the outcome, we open ourselves to receive all the creative possibilities. via @jenilyn8705

#4 – Have faith. 

Trust that what is going to happen will happen.  Not all of us are meant to get married or have children by a certain age.   It’s also true that not all of us are meant to only be married once.  Things happen — it’s just the way life works out sometimes.

So trust and have faith that what comes to you is what is in your highest good.  You have you own individual lessons to learn in this life that is totally unique to you.  Nobody else shares those same specific lessons that you need to learn with you.  So trust, have faith, and follow the flow of your own intuition and inner guidance.

Take action now!

Let’s do #1: What can you start doing today to help yourself love your life more?  Share your thoughts in the comments below!

3 Essential Mindset Shifts to Living a Life You Love

Lately I’ve been on a kick in learning all about manifestation and happiness.  Reading books, listening to lectures, hearing about various meditations to try, and so on.

The motivation to really learn about all this has been coming from this deep inner frustration about one thing in my life.  So many other areas of my life I’ve been able to shift and make better, but in one area, for some reason, I’ve continued to feel stuck in this cycle that I’ve been unable to bust out of.

So, I figured, learning more about manifestation and achieving happiness in life would be beneficial.  In this process, I’ve come to several profound lessons where I have been able to feel some drastic shifts very quick.  So here are 3 essential mindset shifts that I think can really help us all live a life we love:

#1 – Realize that it’s not (and never has been) about where you are, but how you view it.

That shitty apartment your living in?  That toxic work environment?  That friend or family member that’s driving you crazy?  Sure, it makes things more challenging…

… but it shouldn’t be preventing you from experiencing happiness.

This was one of my first realizations upon moving to Korea and it’s taken quite a while for it to fully sink in:

It’s not about where you are in life, but about what you’re doing with what you have right now.

DoWithWhatYouHave_edited-1

Click to Tweet: It’s not about where you are in life, but about what you’re doing with what you have right now. via @jenilyn8705

If you’re pessimistic and bitter, then of course you’re going to be unhappy.  And sure, you can go ahead and start dating someone else or move out of the country, but nothing is going to change unless you do.  You’ll continue to carry those inner negative feelings everywhere you go until you decide, “Hey, I don’t want to feel that way anymore!”  So change your perspective.

#2 – Gratitude connects you to your soul. 

Always focusing on what we don’t have in life is very draining and keeps our minds locked into this state of fear and lack.  No miracles can emerge out of this if because it makes us blind from seeing the real opportunities that we have available.  It causes us to be trying to swim against the tide rather than to float along with it and trust.

So take some time each day in meditation to stop and connect to what you are grateful for.  Identify one thing — and it doesn’t have to be complicated.  This may be a person in your life, the fact that you have steady income, a pet, or the place you are living.  It could even be something super simple like the fact that the sun came up today or that there are birds chirping outside your window.

In meditation, visualize that person, place or thing that you are grateful for in your mind’s eye and then allow yourself to really feel the gratitude.  The shifts really happen from feeling, because it takes us out of our mind and into our hearts.  So be sure to really tune into that feeling and, overtime, you’ll begin to notice some definite shifts in your life.

#3 – Feel the way you want to feel right now rather than wait for something in your life to change.

A story I came across fairly recently was of a woman who had had a baby and was living on government assistance because her and her husband could barely afford basic cost of living.  Her husband ended up taking a job working at a place like UPS several states away because they were desperate for any money at all.

In her story she said that, while this situation didn’t appear so great on the outside on the inside she felt really truly happy.  She was enjoying life and really truly grateful for where she was at.  As a result, within just a few months she started a new work endeavor and ended up earning enough money in her new work that her husband was able to quit his job and move back with family.

The main lesson?  To start feeling what you want to feel “someday in the future” right now.

When I first heard this story my mind initially went to a fear-based thought of, “But if I feel all that joy and happiness right now, then maybe I won’t really do any actions to make changes in my life.  I’ll just be happy and stagnant”.

Clearly, this thought is really just a bunch of bullshit.

Because the second I decided to start feeling the way I’d like to feel “someday” I found myself feeling strong and confident in making decisions.  I started to feel more in-tune with my own intuition so I more clearly knew which direction I needed to take for myself.

So be grateful and choose to feel those feelings of happiness, joy, love, or whatever it is that you’d like to feel “someday” today, then simply be open for miracles.

Take action now!

Close your eyes and ask yourself: How would I like to feel “someday”?  Connect with that feeling in this present moment, then describe that feeling in the comments below!

5 Steps to Manifest New Love in Your Life

With this new year just starting out, many of us are looking for ways in how to improve our level of happiness and fulfillment from last year to this year.

If you’re single, you may be asking yourself: What do I need to do to a new romantic partner this year?  On the other hand, if you’re already in a relationship, you may be asking yourself: What can I do to deepen my relationship in a way so that I can experience more love?

Regardless if you’re in a relationship or not, these 5 steps to manifest new love in your life will be beneficial to you.  Here are the 5 steps:

#1  Release past resentments.

Are you holding any grudges towards your current partner or a past one?  Are you still disappointed over some actions made?  Are you still bitter in any way?  If so, give yourself the intention to let it go.

Once you’ve recognized any past resentments that you have been holding on to.  Make the conscious effort to forgive.  Sit quietly and do a short guided visualization where you send the person some light and love.  Do this periodically until you feel that there are little to no “hard feelings” left.

#2 Do loving things for you.

Is there something that you’ve been needing lately that you’ve been putting off cause you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself “I don’t deserve it?”  For example: Have you known that you need to go to the dentist but you’ve been putting it off forever?  Have you realized that you need to make a diet or lifestyle change but you keep shoving it in the back of your mind?  Have you been feeling like you’ve been needing some support from a therapist or coach but you’ve been putting it off for months?

Whatever it is, make plans to do it!  We can’t experience our highest level of fulfillment of love in our relationships with others until we have chosen to love ourselves 100%.  Know that you deserve it — and make it happen!

LoveOurselves100

Click to Tweet: We can’t experience our highest level of fulfillment of love in our relationships with others until we love ourselves 100%. @jenilyn8705

#3  Have fun!

When we are having fun and enjoy the things we do, we not only make ourselves feel better but we also brighten other people’s day as well.  And, as a result, we end up attracting more people to us!

So do the things that you love to do.  Do things that brighten up your being.  Do things that give you joy.  Even if it is just the little things like going to a cafe that you really enjoy or dancing more because it makes you feel alive.  Find ways to more enjoy your life and then do it!

#4  Take moments to connect to and visualize what you really want to experience.

What kind of partner do you want to have in your life?  What is it that you want to feel while in your relationship?  Whatever it is that you want to experience, close your eyes and take the time visualize it in your mind’s eye for short periods of time throughout your day.

That being said, if you are not completely sure as to what kind of partner you’d like or how you’d want to feel, this simple meditation can certainly do the trick:  Close your eyes and take deep breaths.  In your mind’s eye visualize your partner or your future partner and yourself.  Visualize this person coming from a distance as a bright being of light.  As this person comes closer to you, you recognize that you yourself are a strong being of bright light as well.  When this person comes close to you you realize that you are both two whole beings.  Complete in yourselves and equal to one another.  There is a mutual sense of balance, love, and light between the two of you.

Do this meditation periodically.  It is meant to help you enter into any of your romantic encounters with a sense of equality, strength, and genuine love, which has a tendency to become hindered and distorted by our egos.

#5  Trust and believe that it will happen!

When we don’t trust and believe in what we can create for ourselves, this is when we tend to experience emotions like worry and anxiety.  Try to be mindful and aware whenever these emotions come up.  If you feel doubt and, hence, a sense of worry come in then simply be aware of it.  Don’t try to ignore it or push it away.  Just let it be.  Then focus on trusting and believing that it will and can happen for you!

Many of us tend to self-sabotage ourselves with our own doubt.  We get a good momentum going but our ego comes in and fills us with doubt, which then stops us in our tracks.

When we focus and put more energy and attention into what we truly desire to manifest, then we increase the chances of it actually happening.  So trust, believe, and, of course, be patient.

Take action now!

What past resentments do you still need to let go and heal from?  What actions can you take or plans that you can make to better love yourself?  How can you start having more fun in your life today?  Share your answers in the comments below!