Tag Archives: limiting beliefs

This is What Blocks You From Success

Through the years, I’ve heard a lot of people share some their dreams and aspirations with me…

… I want to be a writer.
… I want to teach and host workshops.
… I want to have a blog like yours.
… I want to have my own podcast.
… I want to X kind of work so I can serve others.

But, more often than not, the statement is then followed up with something like…

… but I don’t have any money to do it.
… I can’t earn money doing that.
… I don’t know how to write a book.
… I don’t know how to start a blog.
… I struggle to write.
… I don’t know how to start teaching or speaking.
… maybe I’ll just “try it out” for a few months and if I’m not successful I’ll quit.
… and so on.

While some of these can be legitimate concerns (like figuring out how to set up a website so you can blog), as my mentor Marie Forleo says “everything is figureoutable”.

So, if you try, you can figure it out (trust me).  But what I’ve found is that, more often than that, what is really blocking us from fully boldly jumping in head first is our own self doubt.  It’s our own fear.

As a result of this fear, we start to create our own limiting beliefs and myths, like believing that we can never earn enough money doing the work we love or that, for some reason, we shouldn’t charge people for our work.  ‘Cause, you know, when you’re helping others it should always be free right? 😉 

My mentor, friend, and New York Times best-selling author Gabrielle Bernstein, busts these kinds of myths in her new free training video! In this video, she teaches the 3 most common mistakes that block you from earning for your great work and how to fix them.

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Click here to watch the video now!

Much love to you,

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P.S. There’s another awesome video coming in a few days, so be on the look out!

3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Feel Unsupported in Relationships

As originally published on TinyBuddha.

Many of us feel we’re not getting the support we want or deserve in relationships.

Maybe we’ve never felt supported by our friends or family. Maybe we don’t feel supported by our peers or co-workers. Maybe we don’t even feel supported by our partner.

This can leave us feeling drained, tired, and unhappy, like we’re moving through life without much fuel to keep going.

During my adolescence and early adulthood, this was a huge struggle for me. I rarely found a place or group of friends where I felt like I “belonged” and, therefore, I didn’t feel supported. When I did feel supported by others, it only lasted for a few days or weeks before it dissipated.

Today, this has shifted. I feel much more supported in my current relationships and don’t feel nearly as drained as I once did.

There are still moments when I feel like I did growing up, but I’ve realized that opening up to support is a life-long journey. It’s an ongoing process of healing old wounds and allowing ourselves to become something new.

There are three questions that always help me realize what needs to be healed and how I need to shift my perception. If you don’t feel supported in your relationships, ask yourself:

#1 – Is my story preventing me from receiving support?

Do you tell yourself stories like “Nobody understands me,” “He can’t understand me because he hasn’t experienced what I’ve experienced,” or “I always have to take care of others and nobody can take care of me”?

Or, do you repeatedly tell yourself, “I am never supported in my relationships”?

Whatever your specific story is, it blocks you from receiving the support you desire.

Some other stories that prevent you from receiving support include: “If I tell others about my problems, it will cause them more stress,” “If I share this with others, they will judge me,” “I need to give to others in order to be loved,” and “If I want something from others, I won’t be loved.”

Formerly, I told myself the story “I will be a burden to others if I seek help and support.”

I’d think this at work when I needed extra help or a day off, so I’d feel hesitant to communicate this to coworkers. I’d also think this when going through tough times, which made me feel scared to open up to friends, so none of them would know what I was feeling.

When we acknowledge our stories, we are then able to shift our perception and open ourselves to receiving support from others.

#2 – Am I reaching out to others for support?

Often when we feel like we are not receiving what we desire from others it’s because we are not open to receiving. It’s as if we have a little shop set up for business, but we have all the doors locked!

Be sure to tell others when you are going through a difficult time. Ask people for help rather than to try to figure it all out on your own.

By letting people know that we are seeking support, we’re much more likely to receive it.

#3 – Am I supporting myself?

What we experience outside of ourselves is often a reflection of whatever we are experiencing within ourselves. If we are not feeling supported by others, then it is likely true that we may not be supporting ourselves.

The key to shifting this is to find ways to feel full and supported within ourselves instead of focusing solely on what we want from others.

This was something I needed to do when dealing with various health issues. For a few years, I failed to address my health problems, which meant others couldn’t support me either.

I would not stay committed to diet and lifestyle changes that I knew would help me. This meant others didn’t have the opportunity to support me because my actions did not show that improving my health was important to me.

Ask yourself: Am I supporting my body when it’s sick or tired by letting it rest? Do I support myself by finding time to do the things that I love to do? Do I give myself the things I know I need—like going to doctor’s appointments when I’m sick or finding a therapist when I’m going through a difficult time?

Then take it a step further and ask yourself: Am I really “myself” when around others? Am I putting myself in relationships with people who truly accept me for who I am? Do I allow myself to share my authentic truth with others?

If we want to be fully supported in all aspects of ourselves, we need to choose to be in relationships where we feel free to be our authentic selves.

BeSupportedAuthenticSelves

Click to Tweet: To be fully supported, surround yourself with others who fully accept your authentic self. via @jenilyn8705

This might mean letting go of some relationships and releasing expectations that certain people will suddenly change and be supportive. By being in relationships with others who fully accept us, we are supporting ourselves.

In order to experience the highest degree of love and support in our relationships, we have to really love and support ourselves. So look within and become the master of your own self-care and self-love.

Take action now!

In the comments below, tell me one story that you are holding that is preventing you from receiving support from others?.

The Truth About Being “Too Busy”

Back when I was a kid, I remember hearing adults always saying the words: “I’m too busy”.

“I can’t exercise because I’m too busy… I can’t go on vacation because I’m too busy… I can’t read that book because I’m too busy… I can’t work full time because I’m too busy,” I would hear them say.

As a pre-teen, I found this to be quite odd because, in my own observation, none of these adults were really that horribly busy.  I mean, they were spending at least 3 hours a night watching TV shows, watching movies, shopping for things that aren’t really necessities, reading novels, and checking and sending chain e-mails.  I knew plenty of other people who were more busy then they were and who were, in fact, doing all of those things that these adults proclaimed they were “too busy” for.

Of course, in this decade of the 2010’s, this has shifted a bit from the 90s.  Adults now spend more time surfing the web for hours, watching youtube videos, or doing things on their cell phone: texting, facebook-ing, tweeting, instagram-ing, timehop-ing, candy crush-ing, and so on.  Though we are more connected now than we have ever been, that same old habit of saying, “I’m too busy” is still very prevalent.

As adults, we have all, at some point or another, made this excuse in various ways and in various kinds of situations.

“I don’t have time to exercise…”

“I don’t have time to go to therapy…”

“I don’t have time to try out this diet…”

Though it is true that life as an adult requires many more demands and responsibilities, there’s a difference between actually “not having time” and “not trying to even make time”.

For many of us, when we are faced with an opportunity to change something about our lives or improve ourselves in some way, rather than to say, “Okay, I’ll make time” we experience inner resistance.  That inner resistance then surfaces by making a comment like “I don’t have time”.

This inner resistance can be rooted in a number of different causes.  Some of these causes include (but are not limited t0):

A limiting belief about how we generally don’t have time for anything other than work.

A fear of experiencing change because that means that we may have to feel a bit uncomfortable and have to change habits.

Denial of our issue that may need change. For example: We have a health problem, but we don’t want to change our diet to fix it because then we have to face the reality about our health problem.

A limiting belief that seeking out help is “weak”.

A fear of failure.

A fear that we may “not be good enough” if we try.

A limiting belief that “we are not worthy”.

A limiting belief that others matter more than we do or that we don’t “deserve” it, but others do.

And more!

We all have these kind of limiting beliefs and fears.  We can’t fully create change in our lives until we choose to face the fears and limiting beliefs that we have.

TooBusyCreateChange

Click to Tweet: We can’t fully create change in our lives until we choose to face the fears and limiting beliefs that we have. via @jenilyn8705

So how can we begin to do that and finally let go of the “I’m too busy” excuse so we can create happier and healthier lives for ourselves?  Here are 3 steps:

#1 – Recognize that you are experiencing an inner resistance.

The most vital key is to be able to recognize within yourself that you are experiencing a resistance.  This can be hard for many of us because we are caught up in the whole habit of saying things like “I’m too busy” and don’t think twice about what we say or do.

So take the time to pause for a moment and reflect on what you have been saying and doing.  Are you resisting change in your life in some way?  How so?

#2 – Ask yourself, “What beliefs or fears are causing this resistance?”

Do you fear change?  Are you in denial that change is needed?  Do you fear that you will fail or that you’re “not good enough”?  Get out a journal and write down whatever you think and feel may be going on for you internally to cause this inner resistance.

#3 – Find the time, then act!

Once you have recognized your inner resistance and identified your limiting beliefs and fears, find the time in your schedule to actually do the thing you’ve been putting off and take action!

Then once you act, continue to check in with yourself and notice what feelings come up for you.  What kind of mind-chatter is going on in your head?  Is it that now that you have started exercising you keep having thoughts of “I look ridiculous doing this!”?  Have you decided to take up painting but now that you are acting you notice all these thoughts of “I’m not good enough for this — I’m going to mess up!”?

Just simply recognize what thoughts come up for you, but don’t attach to them.  Don’t focus on them or give these thoughts any of your time and attention.  Simply recognize them, let them pass by in your mind, and continue taking action!

What is something that you always make the excuse “I’m too busy” for?  Share it in the comments below!