Tag Archives: create

7 Beliefs Worth Having

The original version of this article was originally shared on Elephant Journal.

In many spiritual circles, the idea our belief systems can hinder our growth and healing is quite common.

Though things like religious or political beliefs can easily be recognized, there are many internal beliefs that we have that many of us are not consciously aware of.  Many of us have beliefs like:

I will never be good enough.

I’ll never find a partner right for me.

I’m not pretty enough.

Bad things always happen to me.

People are ridiculous.

I shouldn’t pay for a massage because its too expensive.

Through this process of recognizing our limiting beliefs in order to heal them and let them go, it can be easy for one to fall into the idea that there are no beliefs that are worth having.

Well, I think there is a little problem with this.

There’s a reason we had those beliefs to begin with: Our beliefs give us a foundation. They help us to be grounded in the world.   They can provide us with a solid foundation to build, grow and heal from.

When we push ourselves to have no beliefs at all, then we may find ourselves confused and off balance.

Here are seven non-limiting beliefs to provide you with a solid foundation for your own self and spiritual development:

#1 – Everything in the world is constantly evolving

Nothing ever stays the same in this world. Just as the seasons change, so do people, places, and things. We cannot stop it or control it, but rather move with the flow of this natural evolution.

#2 – Nothing in this world is absolute

People die, relationships end, and we discover that what we thought works actually causes more problems than it solves. The universe will change and adjust as we do. It is conscious and has a “mind” of its own. Just when we think we know something, the universe shifts to prove nothing that we think to be true is absolute.

#3 – The world is filled with endless possibilities for creation

Simply, if we believe that anything is possible then nothing actually is impossible. If we believe nothing is impossible, then we create the mindset needed to create the seemingly impossible.

#4 – We are always supported

Completely taking away the possible religious or spiritual beliefs and putting them aside, if we believe that the universe will always support us then it releases any fear we may have of doing something.  If we believe that we can jump and something is there to catch us, then it makes it easier for us to jump.

AlwaysSupported

Click to Tweet: You are always supported. via @jenilyn8705

#5 – We deserve the life of our dreams

If we believe that we deserve everything that we’ve ever dreamed of then we hold no limitations on actually making that a reality.

#6 – We are happiness, joy, and love

If we believe that we and everyone in this world at the deepest core of their being is happiness, joy, and love already then we allow that to not only emerge within us but in others as well.

#7 – Heaven is a place on earth

Yes I know this probably sounds super cheesy, but its a belief worth having. When we believe heaven is already right here on earth right now then we can actually create and make it seen to more people.

What are some beliefs that you think are worth having?  Share them below!

3 Keys to Manifesting a Healthy and Loving Relationship

We all want a healthy and loving relationship.  You know, a relationship filled with compassion, affection, and acceptance.  A relationship where there is respect.

Whether you are single or not, the desire, to some degree, is likely there.  Unfortunately for many of us, even if we are married or in a relationship we can find ourselves wishing that the relationship was different in some ways.  We may feel that the “spark” has gone away and we wish we could find it again. 

Fortunately, regardless of our relationship status, we can give our relationships a “tune up” when we stop to look within ourselves and consciously choose to make some inner shifts.  Here are 3 keys to manifesting a healthy and loving relationship in your life:

#1 – Have an amazing relationship with yourself

If you hate being alone and you’re self-worth is determined by how active your social life is, then you’re going to be giving off a “I need you to validate my self-worth” kind of vibe when out on a date.  If, on the other hand, you enjoy spending time with yourself and feel totally comfortable in your own shoes, then you’re going to be giving off a “I feel comfortable with myself” kind of vibe.

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that if you do hate being alone and have a low self-worth that you’re not going to find a boyfriend.  The truth is that you probably would.  However, there would be one big problem: The guy has equally as low of a self-worth as you.  Which, would then create a relationship where both people need the other person to validate their own self-worth.

It’s a foundation built on sand — and it’s certainly not where one wants to be if they truly want a healthy and loving relationship.

So get comfortable in your own shoes.  Spend time with yourself.  Take yourself on dates.  Go to the movies, go to dinner or take a mini-vacation with yourself. 

Treat your body well by exercising and eating healthy.  Do activities that you enjoy doing.  Give yourself things that you know you need.

When we become masters of our own self-care, we are giving ourselves the love that we truly deserve.  So focus on doing amazing things for you, so you can have a great relationship with yourself.  It will help in manifesting that healthy and loving relationship you desire.

MastersSelfCareSelfLove

Click to Tweet: When we become masters of our own self-care, we are giving ourselves the love that we truly deserve. via @jenilyn8705

#2 – Believe that you deserve it

Many of us want a healthy and loving relationship, but, deep down, we don’t believe that we truly deserve it.  Or, we may even think that it’s not possible for us.  Unfortunately, this prevents us from making any kind of progress in getting that loving relationship.

So if you find yourself struggling to believe that you truly deserve it, make a commitment to reframing that mindset.

One way to do this is by saying affirmations.  Every morning or night you can spend some time standing in front of the mirror and stating out loud, “I deserve a healthy and loving relationship”.  Say this 10 times in the morning and 10 times at night for at least 30 days.  You may not notice the shifts right away, but over time you’ll notice a shift.

#3 – Ditch the checklist and, instead, connect with how you want to feel

We all hold expectations.  If you’re single and dating, it may be an expectation that the person you date has a nice car and isn’t working in retail.  If you’re in a relationship, the expectation may be that you want your guy to clean the dishes after he uses them.

When we get ourselves caught up in such expectations it’s like we are creating for ourselves an internal “checklist”.  We have a list in our minds of things that we want and “need” in order to be happy and fulfilled in the relationship.

Unfortunately, these “checklists” take us out of the experience.  It takes us out of what is happening in the moment in your relationship with this other person and, instead, focused on what the person is or isn’t doing.  It’s a way of rating or judging the moment, which blocks us from truly connecting with the other person and experiencing love.

So the key here is that rather than focus on the “checklist” or expectations, we must focus on how it is that we want to feel in the relationship.  Do you want to feel love in your relationship to this other person?  Joy?  Happiness?  A sense of calm?  A place of comfort in their presence?  How do you want to feel in being in the relationship?

When we focus on how it is that we want to feel rather than on the surface-level details, we can find that what we thought we needed, we don’t really “need” after all.  We realize that the “needs” were all arbitrary — and they weren’t helping us get what we truly wanted, which is love.  Rather, they blocked it.

So let go of your “checklist” of expectations and sit back and ask yourself: How do I want to feel?  And then connect to that feeling.  Feel it within your own being and carry it with you throughout the day.  And, eventually, your relationships will start to reflect your internal state.

Take action now!

In the comments below, share with me how you want to feel in your relationship.  Or, if you’re not in a relationship now, share with me how you desire to feel.

4 Things to Remember When You Want to Get Married, But It’s Not Happening

Back when I was in my early to mid-20s I was worried and concerned about getting married, but every attempt to create a stable, loving, and committed relationship turned into an utter failure.

Based on what I’ve learned, here are 4 things to remember when you want to get married, but it’s not happening:

#1 – You gotta focus on making yourself happy.

Be your own best friend.  Learn how to love your life whether there is a guy in your life or not.  The more joyful and loving that you are when alone with yourself, the better because others are going to recognize that energy that you are putting out. 

And trust me — being joyful, happy, and loving is a lot more attractive then being depressed, self-conscious, and anxious.  Just imagine what it’d be like going on a date with someone who is really depressed, self conscious and anxious.  Would you want to go out with them again?  Enough said.

#2 – Know that you deserve and are capable of having a loving relationship. 

We can be happy and joyful in our lives and with ourselves all we want, but if we don’t think that we deserve and are capable of having a loving and joyful relationship that can turn into a successful marriage then it’s not going to happen.  We have to really truly know and believe that we are worthy.

Doing this doesn’t have to be super complicated.  It can happen at any given moment that you choose to fully admit to yourself and the universe what it is that you truly desire and you choose to fully know you are worthy.  And, as a result, the universe can respond very quickly.

I know this very well from experience.  A few years ago I was traveling in Japan after spending several months suffering with the aftermath from a breakup.  I was working on being happy by myself but nothing new came along because I didn’t really believe I was ready for a new relationship.  I deeply believed that I’d screw any new relationship up.  I didn’t trust myself.

While walking around the Golden Pavillion (Kinkai-ju) in Kyoto I saw a section where you could buy candles for various different things and light them for a prayer.  These were all in English so I felt inclined to light one.  At first I rationalized and started telling myself to do one for world peace but my eyes kept going back to one that was for finding love. 

In that moment, finally admitted to myself and the universe my true desire and I knew that I deserved it.  I lit the candle and left — forgetting about it.

Later that day, upon trying to get to the airport, a storm came through that caused me to miss my flight.  I ended up meeting a man in this this stressful situation who helped me with language translations.   This man I ended up having a stable relationship with for about a year.

Which leads me to my next point…

#3 – Always be open to possibilities.

When we have this very specific picture of what it is that we want then we are not going to be open for all of the creative possibilities.  We may overlook or not even allow ourselves to see what is right in front of us. 

It’s okay to have some standards of what you want: Like someone who is honest, loyal, caring, and so on.  But if we’re going so far as to being very particular about how someone looks, their job, or where they grew up then we may be blocking ourselves from being with who we are truly mean to be with.

Also, I think it’s very important to remember that when I say “be open to possibilities” it’s not about letting go of the desire completely.  It’s not about shifting your thoughts in a way to be forcing yourself to be thinking, “I don’t want to get married” because that doesn’t leave you open to the potential of marriage ever.  It’s like going up to the universe and saying “I’m closing up shop” and the universe is thinking, “But, wait, I had all these customers lined up for you.  What gives?”

The key is to learn how to get into a neutral space of “I am happy and love my life no matter what happens”.  It’s about letting go of any concern or worry about the outcome and being open for all creative possibilities. That creates the foundation for a real change (or miracle) to occur, internally and, ultimately, externally.

FoundationForChange

Click to Tweet: When we let go of concerns about the outcome, we open ourselves to receive all the creative possibilities. via @jenilyn8705

#4 – Have faith. 

Trust that what is going to happen will happen.  Not all of us are meant to get married or have children by a certain age.   It’s also true that not all of us are meant to only be married once.  Things happen — it’s just the way life works out sometimes.

So trust and have faith that what comes to you is what is in your highest good.  You have you own individual lessons to learn in this life that is totally unique to you.  Nobody else shares those same specific lessons that you need to learn with you.  So trust, have faith, and follow the flow of your own intuition and inner guidance.

Take action now!

Let’s do #1: What can you start doing today to help yourself love your life more?  Share your thoughts in the comments below!

5 Steps to Manifest New Love in Your Life

With this new year just starting out, many of us are looking for ways in how to improve our level of happiness and fulfillment from last year to this year.

If you’re single, you may be asking yourself: What do I need to do to a new romantic partner this year?  On the other hand, if you’re already in a relationship, you may be asking yourself: What can I do to deepen my relationship in a way so that I can experience more love?

Regardless if you’re in a relationship or not, these 5 steps to manifest new love in your life will be beneficial to you.  Here are the 5 steps:

#1  Release past resentments.

Are you holding any grudges towards your current partner or a past one?  Are you still disappointed over some actions made?  Are you still bitter in any way?  If so, give yourself the intention to let it go.

Once you’ve recognized any past resentments that you have been holding on to.  Make the conscious effort to forgive.  Sit quietly and do a short guided visualization where you send the person some light and love.  Do this periodically until you feel that there are little to no “hard feelings” left.

#2 Do loving things for you.

Is there something that you’ve been needing lately that you’ve been putting off cause you’ve been subconsciously telling yourself “I don’t deserve it?”  For example: Have you known that you need to go to the dentist but you’ve been putting it off forever?  Have you realized that you need to make a diet or lifestyle change but you keep shoving it in the back of your mind?  Have you been feeling like you’ve been needing some support from a therapist or coach but you’ve been putting it off for months?

Whatever it is, make plans to do it!  We can’t experience our highest level of fulfillment of love in our relationships with others until we have chosen to love ourselves 100%.  Know that you deserve it — and make it happen!

LoveOurselves100

Click to Tweet: We can’t experience our highest level of fulfillment of love in our relationships with others until we love ourselves 100%. @jenilyn8705

#3  Have fun!

When we are having fun and enjoy the things we do, we not only make ourselves feel better but we also brighten other people’s day as well.  And, as a result, we end up attracting more people to us!

So do the things that you love to do.  Do things that brighten up your being.  Do things that give you joy.  Even if it is just the little things like going to a cafe that you really enjoy or dancing more because it makes you feel alive.  Find ways to more enjoy your life and then do it!

#4  Take moments to connect to and visualize what you really want to experience.

What kind of partner do you want to have in your life?  What is it that you want to feel while in your relationship?  Whatever it is that you want to experience, close your eyes and take the time visualize it in your mind’s eye for short periods of time throughout your day.

That being said, if you are not completely sure as to what kind of partner you’d like or how you’d want to feel, this simple meditation can certainly do the trick:  Close your eyes and take deep breaths.  In your mind’s eye visualize your partner or your future partner and yourself.  Visualize this person coming from a distance as a bright being of light.  As this person comes closer to you, you recognize that you yourself are a strong being of bright light as well.  When this person comes close to you you realize that you are both two whole beings.  Complete in yourselves and equal to one another.  There is a mutual sense of balance, love, and light between the two of you.

Do this meditation periodically.  It is meant to help you enter into any of your romantic encounters with a sense of equality, strength, and genuine love, which has a tendency to become hindered and distorted by our egos.

#5  Trust and believe that it will happen!

When we don’t trust and believe in what we can create for ourselves, this is when we tend to experience emotions like worry and anxiety.  Try to be mindful and aware whenever these emotions come up.  If you feel doubt and, hence, a sense of worry come in then simply be aware of it.  Don’t try to ignore it or push it away.  Just let it be.  Then focus on trusting and believing that it will and can happen for you!

Many of us tend to self-sabotage ourselves with our own doubt.  We get a good momentum going but our ego comes in and fills us with doubt, which then stops us in our tracks.

When we focus and put more energy and attention into what we truly desire to manifest, then we increase the chances of it actually happening.  So trust, believe, and, of course, be patient.

Take action now!

What past resentments do you still need to let go and heal from?  What actions can you take or plans that you can make to better love yourself?  How can you start having more fun in your life today?  Share your answers in the comments below!

Transform Love Addiction into Pure Love

Ah, love.  It’s such a blissful feeling when you’ve found it.  The sound of birds singing sounds so much more peaceful.  Every day feel so much more brighter and happier.

You feel like you’ve been floating on cloud 9 and you don’t want anything to ever take you off of this wonderful high.

If you’ve ever experienced this early on in a relationship, then you know how great it is — and you probably wish you could just stay in that state all day every day for the rest of time.

And, really, I don’t blame you.  It’s a great feeling — believe me, I know — but there are also some problems that can come from it.

You see, when we experience these kind of highs early on in a relationship with someone and find ourselves in this blissful state of falling in love, many of us also find ourselves a bit addicted.

This love addiction comes from experiencing all these great highs and then wanting that feeling to stay there forever.  So we try to hang around with our love interest as much as possible so we can maintain that high.

We drop our own hobbies and interests, we stop hanging out with our friends, and we basically spend less time doing things for ourselves in order to spend more time with this person who we get such elated feelings from being around.  Pretty soon we find our love interest out doing things by themselves while we’re sitting at home waiting by the phone and going through their facebook profile photos for the 10th time that day.

It is at this point where it is safe to say that we have crossed over into codependent territory.  We are completely relying on our love interest to provide us with happiness.  We have lost our sense of self.

What we don’t realize, however, is that this is, in fact, a vital time.  It is a time where we can actually turn our love addiction into something remarkable: By expressing the love that we have found through our connection with another out into the world, we help make it better.

You see, when we have found love through a connection with another, it energizes us.  It gives us that extra “spark” of love and joy.  It is then that we must shift our perspective.  Our habitual response is to focus even more on our partner and rely on them to supply us with more of those feelings.  When what we should really be doing is shifting our mindset to: Look at all these wonderful and loving feelings that I’m experiencing, how can I express that love out into the world?  How can I help make other people feel and experience more love through my own inner love and joy?

Though there is no direct “this is what you must do” answer on how to express it, here are some suggestions:

Give something unexpected.

You see that homeless person on the street?  Give them a few dollars.  See someone at the coffee shop who looks like they could use a “pick me up”?  Give them a warm smile and ask them how they are doing.  Send out cards to loved ones.  Call or e-mail an old friend.  Give whatever your heart feels drawn to give.

Create!

Allow yourself to create something that you love.  Start writing.  Paint a picture.  Take pictures.  Grow plants.  Do some crafts.  Do something that you love to do that nourishes your soul.

Do something that you’ve always wanted to do, but have never done.

Have you always wanted to volunteer but you never have?  Have you always wanted to donate to a certain cause but you haven’t before?  Have you always wanted to travel somewhere but you never allowed yourself to?  Have you always wanted to do a speech but never let yourself do it?

This may not necessarily seem like your expressing your love into the world by doing things you’ve never done but have wanted to do.  However, the reality is that when we use the fuel of this love that we’ve gained through out connection with another and use it to fuel our own inner desires, we then help ourselves, our relationship, and all those around us.  We help all that is around us when we say yes to the calling that is within us.

LoveAddiction

Click to Tweet: We help all that is around us when we say yes to the calling that is within us. @jenilyn8705

That is how we shift into a place of pure and true unconditional love… and that is how we can really change the world and create lives filled with love.

Take action now!

Whether you are in a relationship now or not, think of at least one thing that you can do today that can help bring more love into the world and your own life.  What can you create?  What can you give to another?  What can you do that your heart calls you to do but you haven’t let yourself do it?  Share that one thing that you have identified in the comments below!

5 Steps to Manifest What You Desire

We have various things that we desire to have in life.  Maybe it’s a loving and supportive boyfriend or husband or a job that you truly love.  Maybe it’s to live or travel to a certain location.  Maybe it’s simply to feel happy or supported by others.

We all have these types of desires.  This desire to have something that’s better than what we currently have in life.

Though we are not consciously aware of it most of the time, the reality is that we are constantly manifesting.  We are constantly co-creating with the universe our current state of reality.  So whenever we keep telling ourselves things like, “This job sucks” then we will begin to hate our job more and more because we are the ones creating that energy.

On the flip side, if we tell ourselves “I’m amazing, attractive, and beautiful” then we are going to be sending that energy out to the environment around us and then attract more external things that make us feel amazing, attractive, and beautiful.

This is one of the biggest reasons why we fail to create exactly what it is that we desire: We belief that the shift must happen externally before it can happen internally.  We fail to realize that in order for the things that we desire to manifest in our external world, we have to shift our perception internally.  We have to let go of any beliefs, thoughts, and emotions that are holding us back from having what it is that we desire.

Above all, we have to focus intently in our internal condition, rather than to focus heavily on the new car or boyfriend that we want.

Below are 5 steps to follow in order to help you manifest exactly what it is that you truly desire.

Step 1: Let go of any meaningless desires and identify what you really want.

So for the majority of the population, if we are asked what it is that we want or desire then chances are we are going to answer by saying something like “A new car”, “To make $100,000 a year”, or “To get married”.

If you have any desires like this, write them down and acknowledge them.  Then sit back and really reflect on them and ask yourself why you really desire these things.  Are these things really going to provide you with what it is you really desire?

Here’s an example: Susan desires a new car.  She believes that this new car is going to make her feel happy and more successful.  One day Susan actually does get this car.  But she’s not really satisfied.  Sure, she now feels more successful and socially “up-to-date” in relation to her peers, but what Susan really wanted was to feel free, joyful and happy.  She now finds herself desiring a new house.

When we focus on the external thing rather than to really reflect and dive deep on the feeling that we desire we can then begin to find ourselves truly fulfilled rather than superficially fulfilled.

So look at the things that you desire to have in your external environment.  Then sit back and ask yourself, “What is the feeling that I desire to feel as a result of this?”  Free?  Supported?  Loved?  Excited?  Joyful?  Impactful?  What is it that you’re currently lacking in life that you are trying to gain through this external thing?

Now, please note that I don’t necessarily mean that you can’t ever desire to have a new relationship or a new car.  It is okay to desire these things.  However, you just want to be sure that this is something you really want that is going to satisfy you.  This way you don’t find yourself chasing your desire with material things that get you no where.

Step 2: Clear your space.

The reason that many of us struggle to actually manifest what we desire is because are unconsciously blocking ourselves with our limiting fear-based beliefs.  All of our limited beliefs are unique to us because they are based on our past history.  They can come from a combination of our childhood upbringing, past dating experiences, old emotional or physical traumas, childhood bullying, and so on.

We all have these blocks because we are human and our ego causes us to hold on to these limiting beliefs.  So the key to releasing these blocks is to be committed to asking the universe to help you release these beliefs.

This is where the power of prayer really comes in.  Make the commitment to say a prayer every morning and/or night to help you in releasing your blocks.  And here’s one key thing to remember: The more you surrender into your prayer and know you are perfect just the way you are then the more you’ll benefit.

Step 3: Open yourself to your desire.

So once you have identified the feeling that you wish to experience internally, take the time to really connect to that feeling.  Every day or at least a few times a week, do a meditation or visualization that allows you connect to that feeling.  Imagine in your mind’s eye what it would look and feel like to have your desire become a reality.  The more you do that, then the more you become embodied in your desire, which will strengthen it to become a reality.

Step 4: Take action.

Though we can certainly wish that simply praying and doing meditation will magically cause our desire to manifest, that isn’t how it works.  We have to act.  So if you want a new relationship, then get yourself out in public.  If you want a new car because you know it will help you live more comfortably, then start looking around for cars and comparing prices.  If you want a job that you absolutely love, then start looking for new jobs or read some books to discover your biggest strengths.

Remember, it’s all about co-creating with the universe.  The universe isn’t going to simply do it all for you just because you made the intention.  You have to be sure to do your half of the effort.

ManifestYourDesires

Step 5: Have faith.

Typically after we set the stage to manifest exact what we desire, our ego goes into a bit of a “panic” or “self-doubt” mode where we struggle to really believe that it can happen.  We can find ourselves anxious, doubtful, worried, or frustrated.

Be self-accepting and mindful when this comes up.  Simply accept it as a natural response from the ego.  Don’t try to push or force it away.  Simply accept it and then let it go.

Be sure that you don’t focus a lot of energy on the worry because that will shift your energy and cause a delay in manifesting your desire.  If you find yourself worrying, stop, take several deep breaths, and focus intensely in the present moment. You can also try yoga, exercise, or do EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to help you release the worry.

Ultimately, remember: Trust in the universe.  Things may not quite manifest exactly at the right time or in the way that you want them to.  Have patience and trust that the universe will give you exactly what you need at the exact time that you need it.

Begin to manifest what you desire today!

What is it that you desire in your life?  What is the feeling that you desire to experience?  What kinds of things can you do that will help you manifest that feeling in your life?  Share it in the comments below!

3 Ways to Bring More Love into Your Life

We all want happiness, fulfillment, and love in our lives.  It’s the one thing our souls strive for, yet, for some reason, it seems so much easier said then done.

For many of us, it seems that there is always something in the way that prevents us from finding love.  Always finding the “wrong” people to date, not feeling supported by friends or family, or simply feeling a lack of passion or purpose in life.

What we often fail to realize is that love isn’t something that is going to come from finding something outside of ourselves — the “right” partner, perfectly loving and supportive family and friends, or a career that you’re truly passionate for.

In fact, it doesn’t come through finding anything.  Rather, it comes from taking actionable steps in your life to create more love into your life.  So here are three ways to help bring more love into your life:

Savor each moment.

Love is everywhere.  It is all around us — in the morning dew, in a warm breeze, in the sweet smell of jasmine flowers, in a piece of art, and so on.  Take the time each day to really focus on these things and take in the enjoyment of it.

When we allow ourselves to really focus intensely in the present moment, we can open ourselves to unlimited joy, happiness, and love.

Express Gratitude.

Make it a daily habit to be appreciative about everything — food, shelter, plants, books, friends, a job, a car, and whatever else.  To be appreciative is a loving action, so when we put forth the action step to express our gratitude we, in turn, acknowledge the love that is within us.

Gradually, over time of expressing more and more gratitude, we end up finding more love in our lives because we have been giving the loving action of thankfulness.

So you may want to start every day or end every day with writing down a list of things you are grateful for.  Another option would be to mentally say, “Universe, thank you for ______” (or using whatever language you prefer) every time something happens in your life that you are appreciative of.

Give without needs.

Often times when we feel as if we’ve been giving too much it’s because, deep down, it’s coming from a place of fear.  We give and then feel like we haven’t gotten anything in return because there’s this feeling that “Something is being taken away from me” or to be quickly focusing on what one is getting rather than to really focus on the joy of giving.

When we let go of any expectations, shift our mindset to “I am good enough and it’s okay for me to be big in the world” and release any fears of vulnerability and rejection, we can then allow ourselves to give from a place of genuine love.

A great place to start with this is to donate your time to a cause or to do some kind of work that can help those in very challenging situations.  For instance, you may want to volunteer at an orphanage or help kids with special needs.  It could also be something simple like helping an old lady cross the street or giving something to a co-worker in time of need.

And you know the extra bonus to volunteering or doing work for a special cause?  It can actually become easier to be grateful — which is exactly one other thing we need to bring more love into our lives!

Ultimately, remember this:  Love isn’t something to look and search for.  It’s something that we open ourselves to.  It’s a matter of finding the love that is already within us and expressing that out into the world so that we can create the love in our lives that we desire.

Bring more love

Click to Tweet: Love isn’t something to seek out. Rather, it is something we must choose to open ourselves to. via @jenilyn8705

Create more love in your life today!

In the comments below, list three things that you are grateful for in your life right now.

Create a More Joyful Life with This Super Simple Technique

 We all want a more joyful life.  But, more often then not, it can feel like an impossible task to achieve.

There always seems to be something in the way… a troubling relationship, the lack of financial security, feeling unsupported, a feeling as if you’re just wandering through life and unable to find your true life’s purpose that will make you feel fulfilled and overwhelmed with joy.

While all of these things are certainly valid concerns and issues to have, we often make these things worse than what they really are.  Having the issue is one thing but holding on to the issue for days, weeks, and months on end while wishing that one day something is going to magically shift and make it disappear is something totally different.

The irony is that, often times, the real problem isn’t what we proclaim is our issue at all.  Instead, the real issue is the fact that we spend too much energy focusing on the problem and not enough energy in actually finding things to be joyful and happy about.

We dwell about the failure of our past relationship and spend hours, days, and weeks replaying the past events in our mind in hopes that somehow that will magically make things better.

We dwell on our financial struggles rather than taking action and some potential risk in order to improve it.

We waste our time thinking about how we don’t feel fulfilled and wondering what our life’s purpose is but we fail to take any sort of action steps in order to give ourselves even the slightest chance in actually discovering what will truly satisfy our heart’s desire.

In a strange kind of way, we are addicted to suffering.  It’s as if there’s a part of us that likes the fact that we have problems.  A part that likes to have something to complain and whine about.

Author Eckhart Tolle of The Power Now and A New Earth, along with Buddhism and other philosophies, would describe this other part of us as the ego.  The part within our mind that is fear-based and likes to keep us in a state of suffering, rather than a state of true genuine fulfillment through our soul and inner spirit.

The ego is the very thing that prevents us from really truly living in and focusing on the present moment.  It distracts us by either living in a place with our nostalgic feelings of the past or hopes that one day things will all work out and become better in the future.

This is a huge discrepancy because by focusing most of our time in the past and future, we prevent ourselves from doing the absolute most important thing: To act in the present so that we can create happiness, joy, and fulfillment in our lives right now.

Not 5 years ago or back in high school.  Not next week or 10 years from now.  None of that jibberish.  Rather is to take control of your life right now so that a life filled with love, joy, and fulfillment in all aspects of our life — relationally, professionally, and personally.

So how can we start taking action today in order to create more joy in our lives right now?

The key here is to place all of your focus on the present moment.  So this is what I want you to do…

Stop thinking about all these other things that might be going through your mind as you are reading this.  Stop thinking about all the things you have yet to do today.  Stop thinking about your failed relationship.  Stop thinking about your financial concerns.

Instead, just stop and focus on every single word that you are reading right now.  Put your full attention into focusing on each individual word as they come up fully and completely.

Take a moment right now to bring that focus to an object in front of or around you.  A cup, a plant, a chair, or whatever.  Stop and focus completely on that one thing.  Do not think about anything else.

If a thought comes up about anything else, simply acknowledge it and let it go.  Resist attaching to it and allowing it to consume you and your energy.

Now look to something else in the room.  Place all of your focus on that one thing.  Look at that one thing with 100% of your attention.

Tell yourself, “This is life right here, right now.”  Ultimately, there is nothing else that exists in this world other than now.  Nothing happens in the past.  Nothing happens in the future.  Everything comes out of this very present moment and everything can only come out of this present moment.

Carry on with this idea and activity for the rest of your day.  Whenever you catch yourself dwelling on a relationship problem, financial concern, work issue, or general life problem stop and draw your focus completely on the present.

With time, effort and practice it will become easier to be fully engaged in the present moment so that you can live a life of genuine happiness, joy, and love.

Joyful Life

Take action now!

Choose one activity that you must do today and do it with the intention of being completely focused and engaged in the present moment while doing it.  This can be while doing the dishes, going for a run, doing yoga, writing a paper or article, talking with a friend or colleague, or whatever.

Just draw your attention completely on the present moment during the activity.  With greater time and practice you’ll eventually realize just how much more joyful life is.  You’ll also gradually begin to feel like so much more can be done in smaller periods of time with less effort on your part.

Do this every day with this one activity for one week and make a note to yourself in a journal of your progress.  Share your progress at the end of this week below.  OR share your experience of intense focus of the present moment that you did while reading the article in the comments below!

5 Things Women Need to Remember to Create The Best Life Imaginable

We all want the best life imaginable.  We want fulfilling relationships filled with love and connection and a career that we never get tired of.

But how many of us women actually KNOW how to create that for ourselves?  I mean, heck, as women we don’t have nearly as many role models to look to for inspiration and guidance on how to truly create the best lives for ourselves.

It’s easy to just sit and wonder puzzled over where to even begin.  So here are 5 things that every woman needs to remember in order to create the life of their dreams.

No person or thing else can make us happy – we have to give that to ourselves!

The habit that many of us fall into is thinking that other people and things are going to fulfill us.  We buy a brand new Gucci purse thinking that’s going to make our lack of emotional fulfillment in our job feel so much better.  We latch on to our new boyfriend with this underlying belief that “he will complete us” in some way.

The “tough love” truth here is that NONE of those things are going to make you fulfilled – or, at least, not for very long.  The only way that we can make ourselves happy and fulfilled is by doing things to give it to ourselves.

So stop and ask yourself: What activities make me happy?  What makes me feel happy and fulfilled as I do it?  Then start incorporating that into your daily life!

ALL emotions are valid.

Many of us women are either taught by our families or ex-boyfriends that our feelings and ridiculous and we simply just shouldn’t have them.  Well I’m here to tell you that is completely RIDICULOUS!  Emotions are the underlying drive to everything that happens in this world.

So rather than fall into the classic mental trap of “Oh I can’t express this emotion because people will think its ridiculous”, change the mindset to “This is my emotion.  It is real, it is valid, and it deserves to be nourished”.

Take care of yourself.  Except how you feel and do what you need to make yourself feel better.

Each and every one of us is struggle with our own unique battle.

Every single person is struggling in this world and, because of that, every single person is doing the best they can do at this point in time.  When we fully accept that, we can save ourselves a lot of unnecessary stress.

We can’t create the life of our dreams if we’re living someone else’s life.

Be willing to express your uniqueness to the world.  If every female in your family is a nurse and you don’t want to be a nurse, then don’t do it!  Be YOU.  Do what is best for YOU, not what other’s expect of you.

We ALL deserve the best life imaginable.

The single biggest reason many of us struggle to create the life of our dreams is because we don’t BELIEVE we deserve it.  There’s always that little voice in our heads that tells us “Why do I deserve the life of my dreams?”  Well, who and what says that you DON’T deserve it?  You are a wonderful human being and deserve to receive all the things your heart desires.  The more you believe that deep within yourself, the closer you get to achieving it.

best life

Tweet: Tweet: “You are a wonderful human being and deserve to receive all the things your heart desires.” ~ @jenilyn8705

Which of these 5 tips rings most true for you right now?  Share it in the comments below!

Overcoming Our Inner Resistance

I spent my weekend indulging in some serious self-care through creative expression practice. Friday night I dusted off my art supplies and did some watercolor painting with a friend. On Saturday I created a Christmas centerpiece for my dinner table.

This was the first time I watercolor painted in nearly a year and it’s been even longer since I have done a flower arrangement. Because of this, I had a lot of self-defeating thoughts like “I don’t know if I can do this” “What if I mess this up?” “Is this okay?”

This process was intensified because not only had it been a year since I’ve painted but it was also the first time that I was painting without my art teacher there to guide me. I was filled with anxiety and worry. Even the simple process of drawing took me over an hour simply because I was so worried about everything being “just right”.

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Many of us experience this all the time when we are creating anything. Whether it be writing a paper for school, doing yoga, or writing a song we experience this inner resistance that has this hidden underlying message of “you are not good enough”.

Steven Pressfield discusses this resistance in great detail in his book “The War of Art”. In this book, Pressfield shares the many ways that resistance manifests in our lives. Rather than create what our hearts’ truly desire, we allow our inner resistance to take over. We can experience this resistance by turning to things like procrastination, watching TV, drinking and drugs, sex, medications, the limiting beliefs of our culture, and so on.

We turn to these various things in our outer world in order to, basically, avoid creating and doing what we truly want because, deep down, we feel unworthy and incapable.

Resistance can be a very difficult thing to overcome and there is certainly no “one time” solution. Though we may not want to hear it, conquering resistance is a life-long process. No matter how many degrees, certifications, and credentials you have there is always going to be something within you coming up and saying “that’s not good enough”.

So how can we begin to overcome this inner resistance of ours so that we allow ourselves to create so we can experience fulfillment and happiness?

Create something every day.

Many of us have ideas or goals of things that we would like to do or create but the trouble is that many of these ideas are long term. It’s something like “Well, once I do X, Y, Z then I’d like to do this”. By making such long-term goals it doesn’t help to satisfy you in the present. In fact, it may actually cause you more stress and dissatisfaction because you have to wait to get there.

So come up with some easy activities that you can do for yourself today. It may be in line with your bigger long term goal or it may not, but do something!

Recognize how your resistance manifests itself.

Do you procrastinate? Do you turn on the TV rather than write your book? Do you study or read more than write your own ideas? Do you spend more time shopping or drinking rather than doing something that you really truly enjoy? Notice what your inner resistance is like and write it down in a journal. Then try to make a conscious effort in your day to day life to catch yourself when you feel inclined to resist creating.

Set a specific time frame to create.

Whatever it is that you want to do – write, paint, knit, decorate, or prepare to put together a project – set a specific time frame to work on that activity. Cur yourself off from any possible distractions, set a timer and then work on the activity or project without stopping. Having a specific time set can be very effective in making sure that you get done what you really want to get done.

Focus more on what you’re gaining from the process and less on the mess ups.

Because we are so inclined to resistance, we tend to focus more on our little mess ups and less on how great it is for us to be creating to begin with. Sure, it’s good to critique so that you can become better, but be patient and easy yourself. If it’s something you can edit, then take your time reflecting on it and make sure it “feels” right to you. If not, then appreciate what you’ve gained from the activity and focus on the next thing.

Know that you are worthy.

We are all worthy. We are all capable. Like Marianne Williamson said, “It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us most”. Focus on allowing that light to emerge. The more you do that, then the happier and more fulfilled you will be.

LetYourselfFly

 

Start Overcoming Your Inner Resistance!

How do you stop yourself from creating or doing something that you really want to do?  What are some of your resistance habits?  Do you just go watch TV or go shopping?  Share your thoughts and experiences below!