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What’s on my bookshelf…

Before I get started with this week’s post, I want to let you know that I’ve decided to take the next three weeks off from blogging and podcasting.  This is the first time in 3 years that I won’t be posting any material on my blog (with the only exception being my end of the year “best of” that I do around Christmas and New Years).

To be completely honest, I’ve been working myself to the bone and life has been asking a lot from me recently.  I’m also smack dab in the middle of my Saturn Return so I’ve been feeling pulled to stop doing and, instead, look inward, reflect and reevaluate where I am in life.  (*Note: If you don’t know what Saturn Return is, I will likely be write about it when I’m more in the “I realized how I grew” stage.  So don’t worry I’ll explain it more later).

To take care of myself (and practice what I preach!) I need to acknowledge and accept my feeling and give myself the space to really stop, reflect and process.

So on August 15th I will be back refreshed and with some brand new material for you.

Because I don’t want to leave you hanging during the weeks I’ll be gone, I have three books that I want to recommend to you that I think will be very beneficial.  These books I’ve either read (or am reading) this summer and I’ve absolutely loved them — and I’m sure you will too!

Book #1 – Tears of Triumph by Marianne Williamson

Marianne Williamson is one of my all-time favorite authors and the author of the phenomenal bestselling book A Return to Love.  Marianne is a student of A Course in Miracles and, likely, the most well-known teacher of the Course.

In this book she takes on the idea that suffering, grief, depression, and sadness are a natural part of our own spiritual growth and evolution as human beings.  This is contrary to how our modern society’s perception of sadness and suffering — which is that it is all “pathological” and “unnatural”.  As Marianne says at one point in the book that we used to expect people to process the loss of a loved one for at least 2 years and now anything over 6 months is somehow “bad”.

As a result of this perception of sadness and suffering, our tendency has been to over prescribe psychological medications like antidepressants.

This book I have finished a while ago and it is an incredible book to help guide us to treat our own sadness and suffering differently and those of others.

Book #2 – Discover Your Authentic Self by Sherrie Dillard

To be completely honest, there have been so many personal-growth, self-help, and psychology books that I’ve read that I’ve gotten to the point now where my expectations are pretty low.  If I go to pick up a book in the personal growth genre I often expect it to be pretty generic, mediocre, and not much different from others in the past I’ve read.

This is what I was expecting when I got this book from my mentor, Sherrie Dillard.  I’ve read all of her past books and other books on similar topics.  What makes would make this book any different?

What I’ve learned through my own writing and through reading a lot of other people’s material is that the blog posts, books, and materials that stick aren’t necessarily the ones with new material per-say, but the ones that really put their own unique angle.  It’s more about sharing the material in one’s own unique way so that either another audience can understand it or to include other factors that other writers haven’t taken into consideration.

With this book, Sherrie does exactly that — she discussions the topic of authenticity in a way that I have not (or very rarely) heard from anyone.  And, because of it, I feel she’s really hitting the nail on the head on what it is like to truly live your life from an authentic place.

Book #3 – Wild by Cheryl Strayed

I initially watched the movie before reading the book this summer and I found the old advice from my Jr High English teacher to be true — the book is always better!

If you’re looking for a novel — or a memoir that reads like a novel — that’s all about a young woman’s journey of healing from the grief and loss of her mother while hiking Pacific Crest Trail, then you’ll want to read this.

The book is incredibly deep, emotional, and raw.  Cheryl isn’t afraid to write about the deep darkness of one’s own human emotions when in the process of healing.  She doesn’t try to cover up or hide any of her struggle and suffering with fluffy words.  She tells the complete and total truth of her process unapologetically.

That being said: Reader beware!  I found myself on the verge of tears (or actually crying) many times reading this book.  This book goes incredibly deep and, for that reason, its not for anyone who doesn’t like going into the deep darkness human emotions.

What are you reading this summer?  Or what do you plan on reading this summer?  Let me know in the comments! 🙂

Your Power Q&A

Since I opened the cart on Monday morning of my brand new course, Your Power: How to Harness Your Energy So You Can Truly Shine, I’ve received a few questions.

So to give you some extra clarity about what the course entails, here are answers to some of the questions I’ve received along with a few others that I thought you may want to know. 🙂

I’ve taken other courses before, how is this one different?

I like to integrate a lot of different ideas together, because, lets face it, I have a lot of interests and I like to tie a lot of different ideas and modalities together — I have studied holistic psychology and a 9 on the enneagram after all!  So, I include many spiritual principles along with things I’ve learned through my MA in counseling psychology as well.  What also makes this course particularly unique is that I really work on the internal and the external.  I dive deep into the mindset shifts needed to really step up into your full power.  I also take you through a full lifestyle-audit to help you tweak and change your lifestyle and habits so you can better support yourself in really truly shining in the world.

I want to participate, but I don’t think I’m going to have the time to go through all of the material.

This is just your ego coming up to prevent you from making any changes in your life.  I cover this in more depth in the very first week because I think it’s absolutely pivotal to understand if you want to transform your life.  This course is 5 weeks and each of the videos range from approximately 30 to 50 minutes in length.  Essentially, all the time you need is about 40 minutes on average each week and then a little bit of time to do the homework.  I created the course with the intention to prevent anyone from feeling overwhelmed with information because I know how busy we can get.  If you’re not sure if you can spare 40 minutes plus some time for homework each week then I have a question for you: Do you have time to feel like shit? Do you have time to feel miserable?  Do you have time to keep feeling stressed out and overwhelmed?  I didn’t think so.  You really truly deserve to truly shine in the world and live the life you’ve always dreamed up.

Can I access the material on my phone?

Yes!  The website that the course is housed on is compatible for mobile access, so you can access the material anytime, anywhere.  Except the worksheet PDF files for homework, of course.  Those you will want to either print off to use or create your own copy of them in a journal. 🙂

When will I receive the course material?

Immediately after sign-up you will be directed to register for the course.  After you register (I believe) you will get an e-mail to verify your e-mail address and then you can log-in to my courses website.  Once you register and log-in you will have immediate access to the Week 1 material.  You will receive Week 2 material 7 days later, and so on.  If you’ve already purchased my meditation album Ignite Love from Within, then the course should automatically be added to your current account.  So you can use the same log-in details with both.  As always, if you have any issues along the way then please contact me so I can help you. 🙂

I have a hearing disability, do you have a transcription of what you say in the videos?

Unfortunately, I’m unable to do that at this time.  Perhaps in the future when I release the course again.

How long will the cart be open?

The cart for Your Power will be open until mid-May, but I’m only offering the early-bird discount from now until Friday, April 15 at 11:59 PDT.  So if you want to save some money, you better jump on it now! 🙂

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Do you have any other questions that I haven’t yet answered about Your Power?  Contact me!

4 Lessons I’ve Learned in 2015

The year of 2015 has been filled with all kinds of experiences: loss, grief, endings, new beginnings, major mindset shifts, disappointments, transformation, experiencing love in new ways, and more.

Though it was not my direct intention at the beginning of 2015, it’s been a year filled with a lot of growth — in my work, relationships, health, and knowledge.  Here are a few lessons I’ve learned in 2015:

#1- If you want change in your life you’ve got to do the work every single day.

A few years ago I had written an article explaining why I don’t meditate regularly and what I had been doing instead to compensate for it.  While the things I was doing instead were beneficial, I was definitely not committed to doing any kind of practice every single day.

In 2015, this was the year that completely changed.  I’ve been meditating and praying every day and it has made some clear and profound shifts — not immediately noticeable, but definitely over time.

That’s the funny thing about change — often the thing that can provide us with the most impactful change is what we are most resistant to.  So lesson learned: Commit to doing the work regardless of how challenging or difficult — and the more resistance you have, the more you will benefit from actually doing it!

#2 – If you want more of something, then you better be damn grateful for what you already do have.

Want a new (or better) job?  Then you better be grateful for the job you already have.  Want to earn more money?  Then you better be taking care of the money you already have.  It’s all about our mindset.  If we see lack, then our experience isn’t going to change even if what we desire in our external world actually does happen. 

Why?  Because, most likely, we’re gonna f*** it up. 

We’re going to carelessly spend the money we earned from that book deal rather than spend it wisely.  We’re going to get an opportunity to get that dream job but we won’t make the cut because someone else had a better reference from a past employer than we did cause we weren’t really grateful when working that old job.

It’s all about our mindset, so if we only see lack then all we can get is lack.  If we see the good in things, then we’re going to have more good things come to us.  Which leads me to my next lesson…

#3 – Manifestation comes from feeling in the present moment what we want to feel when we get what we want.

Our tendency when we want something is to focus on the external, but when it comes to manifestation is all about the external being a reflection of what is going on internally.  What is going on inside of us is what we see outside of ourselves.

So if we see chaos in our outer world, then its likely that our internal world is actually chaotic. 

And so when it comes to manifestation, it’s not about focusing on what external thing that we want, but how we want to feel as a result of getting that external thing and working to feel that right now.

So lets say you want a new boyfriend.  What do you think it will feel like to have a new boyfriend?  What kind of feelings do you want to experience as a result of getting a new boyfriend?

Is it joy?  Happiness?  Love?  Affection?  Support?

Whatever those feelings are, focus on giving that to yourself.  Find ways in your day to day live right now to feel more love, affection, and support within yourself.  Have that amazingly loving relationship with you right now.  That way, when a guy who’s the right fit does come along he’ll definitely want to stick around.

#4 – You’re not going to accomplish much if you don’t set realistic goals for yourself.

It seems that recently I’ve been working with clients on this a lot.  This is probably because I’ve been working on it with myself quite a bit in the last couple months.

Lets face it: Most of us don’t set realistic goals for ourselves.  “I want to get married in 2 years”.  “I want to lose 10 lbs”.  “I want to stop smoking as of the new year”.

These statements are usually followed by me asking, “How are you going to do that?” and getting a response like, “I’m going to just stop smoking next Monday and never touch them again”.

My response: Now is that realistic?

So many of us set goals for ourselves but the way we set goals sets us up for failure.  And, when we fail, we get discouraged and stop trying.  So nothing ever changes.

When it comes to setting good quality realistic goals, the key I’ve found is about making small goals that are measurable and relatively easy to achieve.

Some goal like “I want to be fit again” can turn into a short-term, more realistic, goal by saying: I’m going to start doing yoga at least 2 days a week.  Then as you achieve the “little” goal, then you can add on to it from there as you see fit.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that we should never “dream big” and set bigger goals.  There’s absolutely nothing wrong with setting the big goal of wanting to be on a NY Times Bestseller list or be interviewed by Oprah.  However, it’s important to remember that we need to take things one step at a time and if we miss a step along the way, then we’re not going to get there.

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Click to Tweet: In setting goals, take things one step at a time.  If we miss a step along the way, then we’re not going to get there. via @jenilyn8705

So take your time, be realistic, and be gentle with yourself.

Take action now!

Focus on one of the 4 lessons that I’ve mentioned above — committing to a daily practice, being grateful, feeling what you want to feel right now, or setting realistic goals — and share in the comments below how you’re going to start doing one of those things in your life starting today! 

Best of 2015

Happy Holidays! 🙂

With 2015 quickly coming to a close, I thought I’d share with you some of my best articles from 2015.  After going through which articles had the most “likes” or “shares” on the Huffington Post, which articles had the most views on my site, and which articles had the most views via my newsletter, these are my top 10 articles for 2015:

11 Tough Love Lessons I Learned from My Ex-Boyfriends

6 Signs it May Be Time to Breakup With Your Friend

5 Ways to Take Care of Yourself During Your Menstruation

How to Let Go of Trying to Fix the Relationship When He Doesn’t

3 Realities About Relationship Problems

10 Relationship Lessons I’ve Learned in the Last 10 Years

3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You Feel Unsupported in Relationships

Choosing Happiness Doesn’t Mean You Should Settle

3 Essential Mindset Shifts to Living a Life You Love

5 Steps to Stop Blaming Others in Your Relationships

To close 2015, I want to personally thank you for being a part of my community.  Without you none of this would be possible.  I hope you have a fantastic New Years and a blessed 2016. 

Much love,

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Finding Your True Purpose

Earlier this year when I was writing my blog, I wasn’t feeling moved by my own message.

Oh, so somebody wants guidance on X, Y, and Z?  Okay well I’ll create a quick how to with 5 steps to answer that.

Hmm… well this site appears to like top 10 lists so I guess I’ll just write some top ten list on this one topic I’ve been wanting to write.

I was going through the steps of simply writing according to what I perceived people to want.

Which is fine… I’ve had great feedback from these kind of articles that appears to thrive on the internet. 

However, deep down I had a problem…

I wasn’t really feeling inspired. 

I no longer felt the need to dance with excitement after writing an article because I absolutely loved what had come out onto the screen.  Instead, it felt pretty mechanical and routine.

It was all starting to feel pretty “blah” to me — which is hardly the feeling a writer wants to experience when they’ve committed themselves to writing.

I was bored.  And, honestly, distressed.

I knew I had an underlying purpose to all of this work, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.  Sure, I had my “transformational story” of, basically, once being a huge people-pleaser, codependent, Little-Miss-Fix-It, and always feeling unsupported to finally learning to take care of myself, set boundaries, and gradually learn what it’s like to be in a healthy relationship.

… but the underlying purpose was missing. 

I wasn’t sure “why” I was really doing any of this.  And it was getting pretty frustrating.

Then February of this year I went to a talk on relationships by my friend and mentor, Gabrielle Bernstein.  At some point during her talk, she had mentioned that she was going to do the second round of her live event, the Spirit Junkie Masterclass, in New York City this past June.

I had no idea why at the time, but something in me kept saying to look more into this and definitely try to go.  Logically, of course, I had already been pretty set on not, because, well, who doesn’t want to save some extra money, right?  But that little pull was still there.

So, needless to say, the finances somehow came right into alignment, so I took the leap of faith and went.

… and it ended up being one of the most memorable and transformational events I’ve ever been to. 

I went in not knowing what to expect and came out completely knowing my purpose, why I’m doing the work I’m doing, and so much more motivated to do the work I know I’m meant to do.

The weekend was less than 2 and a half days, but I seriously never wanted it to end.  I came back to California wishing that I had easy access to the material so I can quickly and easily get back into my right focus again.

Which is why I was so incredibly happy to hear that Gabby is now offering the Spirit Junkie Masterclass in digital form.

The cart to purchase the Spirit Junkie Masterclass Digital is currently open now until Friday, October 9 at midnight EDT (9 PM PDT).

Because I have found so much value in this training and would absolutely love to help support you find your own voice and purpose, I’m offering $1,582 in bonus materials when you sign up with me.

By signing up with me you’ll receive:

• My upcoming meditation album, Igniting Love from Within: Meditations for Creating a Relationships and a Life Filled With Love PLUS my Meditation Basics Training (Valued at $88)

• Two 60-Minute Individual Coaching sessions (Valued at $400)

• My 6-week course (made specifically for Spirit Junkie Masterclass attendees), Write with Soul, Shine Your Light (Valued at $897).  In this course we will cover:

◦ How to go from writing absolutely nothing to being totally “in the flow”.

◦ The key to truly writing with soul.

◦ The nitty gritty for making your writing pop.

◦ How to get started guest posting and writing for sites like The Huffington Post, MindBodyGreen, TinyBuddha, Elephant Journal, and more!

◦ My trick on how to not get overwhelmed — whether you’re a beginner or a pro!

◦ My secret tips on how I’ve managed to overcome my own creative blocks.

 

In addition, you’ll also receive these bonuses from me (Valued at $197):

• My secret tip behind how I managed to get 300+ subscribers with only ONE article (Hint: It probably isn’t what you’re thinking!)

• How I got interviewed for Cosmopolitan magazine — and how you can too!

And one more thing — if you have any questions about the training or would simply just

like to learn more about it, Gabby is hosting a free Q&A this Thursday.

Here’s the info you’ll need to call in:

Date: Thursday, October 8th

Time: 7pm Eastern Time

Dial In #: 1-712-432-3092

Use conference code: 406291

Finally, if you have any questions about the training and you’re unable to make the call,

you can also post a comment below and ask me as well! 🙂

The Fine Print:

You are eligible to receive my Spirit Junkie Masterclass bonus gifts listed above ONLY if you register through the link I provide and complete all payments.  My meditation album will be released October 20th and you will be able to sign up for coaching during that time if you wish.  Write With Soul, Shine Your Light will be released mid-November.

I’m a proud affiliate partner of Gabrielle Bernstein’s Spirit Junkie Masterclass. I don’t recommend anything where I don’t fully believe in its value and integrity 100%.  I may earn a referral fee if you take the course from my recommendation.  All of my opinions are 100% my own.

I thought I was financially screwed

About a year ago, I was deeply concerned about my financial future.

I was in my second year of grad school and I had no idea how I would ever be able to get enough money in the next couple years so I could finish my degree.

I did a number of things to try to help myself out in this situation — cut down cost of living, get a better part-time job, start going to school part-time so I had more time to work and earn more, and so on.

But despite making these adjustments, it seemed that I just had some really bad luck.  I’d unexpectedly lose my extra part-time job because they “no longer needed the extra help”.  I’d have something happen that would result in needing to pay some unexpected cost.  And, to top it all off, I frankly wasn’t feeling too well health-wise.  I was sick just about every other week.

Despite my all my efforts, it just wasn’t working. 

It was getting to a brink point where I knew I needed to either quit school and move away or a huge change needed to happen.  My dream of earning my Masters in Counseling Psychology was slowly falling away.

Early this year I got a copy of one of Gabrielle Bernstein’s lectures, “Manifest Your Desires”.  I listened to the lecture and afterward really focused on working through the mindset shifts.

Around that same time, one of my boyfriend’s clients had told him that he is looking to hire a counselor.

Paid.  Full-time.  Plus benefits.

I really doubted that I would get the job.  I mean, I didn’t have my degree yet nor did I have a whole lot of experience other than working with kids.  Other people working there were already licensed psychologists, therapists, etc.  How could I possibly get this job?

So I interviewed for the job.  For days after the interview I continued to stay focused on the principles Gabby spoke about in her manifestation lecture. 

Then one day when I was driving home I got an intuitive hit where I heard the message: “You better really enjoy having these weekdays off now cause you’ll be wishing you had it later”.

The next day I got a call saying I was hired.

The miracle I was looking for happened.  I’m now I’m not only in a better place financially, but I feel even more in alignment with my true purpose. 

I’m helping people.  I’m learning.  I’m growing… all of which is exactly what I desired deep down in my core.

In the second video of Gabby’s free video series, she is sharing the 3 most common mistakes that block us from running a successful business.

Now, before you think “But I don’t have a business” and turn away, here me out:

This material is beneficial to everyone

Yes, everyone. 

Whether you have a business or not we all have these underlying blocks of “I’m not worthy” when it comes to earning money and being successful.  Being aware and working through these blocks is going to benefit you whether you’re in a stable job but you want to earn more, you’re in a career transition, you’re doing a creative project that you’d like to earn money from, or you simply don’t even know what you want.

Regardless of your current career situation, there is something of benefit to you.  So click here to check out Gabby’s second video of her free series and then share your thoughts in the comments below!

Our Relationship to Our Light

This article is written by Vicky auf der Mauer of LightworkerNation.com

When we think about relationships, we often think about the other person.  

What they bring or don’t bring, what they take or don’t take, what they give, or not.

But, ultimately, it is our relationship to ourselves that has the greatest impact on everything in our life — including our most intimate partnerships.  I believe that everything we go through, everything we experience, everything that happens is to bring us back to ourselves, our Light, because it is there that we are able to give and receive love freely.  But we can’t give what we don’t have ourselves.

Before we discover our Light, the part of ourselves that actually is love, beauty, creativity, grace… we look and depend on love, validation and acceptance from outside of ourselves from anyone and anything. 

I thought that for love to exist in my own life, it was something that had to come from someone else.  Granted, I also searched for love in the latest pair of shoes and at the bottom of a bottle.  I didn’t realize that the love that I so desperately sought from others was actually within me.  

Needless to say, this caused for chaotic, needy, and unbalanced relationships, not only with others, but with myself as well.   

Partnerships are really a mirror of our relationship with ourselves.  If there is chaos in an outside relationship, there is most definitely chaos in our inner relationship. 

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Click to Tweet: Partnerships are really a mirror of our relationship with ourselves. via @LightwrkrNation from @jenilyn8705

So, how did I change these limiting patterns?  How did I go from a disaster at relationships to thriving in a beautiful partnership with my hubby of 7 years (together for 13)?  

I started to love myself, flaws and all.  

I accepted what I could not change (my past) and started the journey of forgiving myself for all the terrible choices I had made.  Forgiveness is a powerful force — it makes possible what you thought was impossible.  

I also started to practice gratitude.  I looked at the world through new eyes, for all that I had, all that I truly had to be grateful for.  And from this place I was able to notice my own contribution to our relationship.  I noticed when I projected my own insecurities (and there were a lot of them) on to my man, lifelong patterns that continued to play out in present day scenarios!  

You know that argument that you have with your partner?  The same one over and over again?  It will keep happening until you change how you look/ perceive/ see a new perspective.  

Until we learn and grow from a scenario or predicament, that scenario will continue to play out until we change how we react to it.  

Here are some tips on how to make some subtle and yet powerful changes to your relationship with yourself and others:

  • Start to consider your relationship to others as an extension of the relationship to yourself.  

 

  • Start to notice how you carry yourself, your energy, what you bring, but do it without expectations of what the other person gives.  

 

  • Start to become independent of the good opinion of other people.

 

  • Forgive yourself.  When we forgive ourselves first, it makes it easier to forgive others.  

 

  • Witness your patterns, what triggers you, and if you’re having the same cycle of arguments over and over again.  When you witness them, you can start to change your mind, and choose again.

 

  • Take yourself on dates, rather than waiting for someone to treat you, treat yourself.  

 

  • Sit in meditation, and start to just imagine the love that is inside you.  Feel it.  It’s there, we just have to connect to it.

 

When we are able to remember and connect to our Light intentionally, our entire lives change.  When we cultivate the Light within us, we become magnets for love, because the love for ourselves is felt.  Our relationship to our Light changes everything in our lives.  

Vicky auf der Mauer is the creator of Lightworker Nation, a website, community and platform for people who are following that which Light’s them up, doing the work they feel called to do and have the audacity to believe that they CAN live the life they know they’re meant to.  She adores people that dream big and take action towards their dreams to make them happen!    

Lightworker Nation is the result of Vicky showing up daily to her meditation and prayer rituals.  She didn’t brainstorm it, it came to her and while the idea of it seemed daunting to execute, she knew she was guided to it and trusted she would be given all she needed to facilitate the community for her fellow Lightworker’s.  It is her dream come true.  

Lightworkernation.com launching Monday 8/31/2015.

@lightworkernation

#lightworkernation

https://instagram.com/lightworkernation/

https://twitter.com/LightwrkrNation

30 Things I Want to Do Before 30

As you may have known, I’ve recently celebrated my 28th birthday.  Each year when the New Year begins and my birthday comes along, I find myself in a place of deep reflection.  I often ask myself things like: What do I want to do that I haven’t yet?  Where do I want to be in X amount of years?  This year, I’m making it a bit easier for myself cause I’m giving myself 2 years to do the things on this list rather than 1.

So here’s my list of 30 Things I Want to Do Before 30:

1.  Lead more with my heart rather than my head.

I realized on my 28 Before 28 list, I had many many goals that were being led more with my head rather than my heart.  As a result, I simply didn’t do them or I didn’t put enough energy into them to manifest.  They were just kind of… well, stale.  So my goal from here on out is to allow myself to be led by my heart rather than my head.  And my first challenge in doing that?  In making this list!

2.  Leave the country.

Visit Canada?  Mexico? Costa Rica?  Ireland?  I don’t know… but I know I’m feeling drawn to get out of the US for at least a bit!

3.  Write my first book. 

It’s there… waiting to come out… I can feel it.  I just gotta get out of my own way just enough to let it happen!

4.  Make more personal and intimate connections. 

For me, it seems that our current internet-world and (for me) living in a more populated area, it can be a bit more challenging to make more personal connections with others — on the street, in social media, through e-mail… maybe even in traffic!  So that is certainly going to be one of my focuses between now and when I’m 30.

5.  Earn my Masters of Arts in Counseling Psychology. 

Technically, I am going to be 30 when this happens so it’s not a “before 30” thing but I feel it is worth a spot on this list nonetheless.

6.  Find a location that really truly feels like “home”. 

Colorado?  Oregon?  Chicago-land area?  East Coast?  Or is it in California after all?

7.  Be a bit more patient with myself and others. 

Okay, so, really, it’s mostly with myself but some extra patience with others certainly never hurts either!

8.  Dance like nobody’s watching. 

I love dancing… and the older I get the less likely I am to do it as often as I probably should be.  It’s an expression of the soul’s joy!  It need to happen!

9.  Become a Certified Yoga Teacher. 

Maybe before 30?  I guess I’ll find out!  It’s always been a thought in the back of my mind.  My absolute-bliss job would involve teaching yoga in the morning and then doing therapy and/or coaching in the afternoons.  So I might as well make the intention to potentially do it and see what happens. 🙂

10.  Learn more about nutrition. 

Know more to help my digestion be fully self-sustaining.  Learn more about what my body needs in order to stay in balance.  Possibly try going on a Paleo diet.  Maybe do more strength building exercises or start running again.  Time to experiment more and learn about my own body!

11.  Write for Glamour. 

I’ve been in Cosmo already and I’ve seen others write Glamour either online or for the magazine itself — time to make the intention and go for it!

12.  Be grounded. 

This is one of my main core desired feelings for 2015 when I did The Desire Map workbook.  I want to be able to dream big, but I want to be sure to stay realistic and grounded in the process.

13.  Visit Portland. 

It’s one of those West Coast cities I’ve had my eye on checking out.  Maybe I’ll get there. 🙂

14. Spend some more time down in LA/SoCal. 

When I went down there this year over Thanksgiving weekend we ended up only spending about 2 days there and one was spent entirely at Disneyland.  I’d love to spend some more time down there and take advantage of the beaches! 🙂

15.  Visit Colorado. 

Not sure if I’ll have the time to make it happen, but I’ve been wanting to visit more than the airport for quite a while.  Looks gorgeous!

16.  Do some major decluttering at the end of every month. 

Sometimes it’s easy for me to get so caught up in other things that mail starts to pile up.  To avoid the build up of clutter, I think making this a routine will help this a bit.

17.  Try out going Paleo. 

Its been a diet that I’ve been introduced to in the past year.  I’ve had a few meals that were following the Paleo diet philosophy.  Afterwards,I noticed that I did feel better eating these kind of foods so I do want to try it for a while and see.

18.  Get into a regular workout routine again. 

I’ve done long distance running, strength training, yoga, etc.  I’m not sure which way I’ll go exactly cause it seems to depend on what I’m feeling I’ll need.  However, I do want to get into a solid exercise routine again regardless of what it involves.

19.  Find a great internship. 

Internship time for my grad program is approaching fairly soon… I want to be sure that I find a good one in an environment that I’ll enjoy. 🙂

20.  Redesign website. 

At some point, a new design is in order for my website.  The goal right now is to do it sometime this year but, depending on multiple factors, it may take a bit for it to happen.  May end up happening at the tail-end of the year or beginning of next.

21.  Have a professional photoshoot done. 

Some professional photos are in order. 🙂

22.  Write for Positively Positive. 

Last year as a “bonus” to my list I wrote “Write for the HuffPost”.  I put it as a “bonus” because I was doubtful that it’d ever happen.  But… as of November of last year it happened!  So, though I’m not sure how this one will happen I’m going to be bold and say that I want it to happen. 🙂

23.  Write more for MindBodyGreen. 

My first MindBodyGreen article came out late last year as well.  It’s definitely a goal of mine to write more for them.

24.  Be open for more connection. 

One of my core desired feelings for this year is to experience more connection… with nature and with the universe at large.

25.  Be in love. 

What I mean by this is that I want to be in love with all that I do… with all that I create… with all actions I make.  I want to be sure it all comes from the heart rather than the head.  Basically, I want to be “in love” with life itself.

26.  Create a meditation album. 

I’ve had a couple requests from followers who loved my Self and Relationship Healing Meditation to create more meditations.  To make it more cost-effective I figured it’d be good to just make a full-album.  Not sure when I’ll get it completed exactly, but it will happen. 🙂

27.  Create an online program. 

I made the goal this past year to create an online program, though I realized in the process of creating it that I was writing more of a book then a program so I stopped.  Right now, I feel like for this to happen I’ll have to get the book written first (which is one of my first things listed on here).

28.  Pay off debt. 

Except for student loan debt.

29.  Start a retirement fund. 

It’s been in the back of my mind for the past 10 years.  It’s time to finally do it.

30.  Redesign my work. 

I feel like in the process of going through grad school I’m always gathering more information and, therefore, changing and reshaping things in my writing and business.  My hope is that by the time I’m 30 (which is around the time I’ll be finishing up my traineeship) I’ll have a solid focus and message.

28 Things I Want To Do Before 28

 With 2014 starting I also have another momentous event – my 27th birthday.

Image courtesy of tiverylucky / Freedigitalphotos.net
Image courtesy of tiverylucky / Freedigitalphotos.net

Since I have already been reflecting on 2013 and creating goals and visions for 2014, I’m finding it important to also create a list of things I want to do before I turn 28. I have always envisioned myself as feeling pretty solid by the time I’m 28 and to really have a solid foundation established and things accomplished (partially because I’m taking the whole “10 years since High School” into consideration).

As a result, I’m creating a list of “28 Things I Want To Do Before 28”. And I’m sharing it with all of you because I know from experience that when we share our goals with the world, we are much more likely to really commit and make it happen.

Now, you will notice that some of these are very simple. The reason I made some of them so simple because 1. They are easy to do – meaning, that life is less likely to cause a delay and 2. It’s important to really enjoy the simple things in life. I love to find joy in the little things so I’m going to be sure to make note

1) Launch my first online program, I ♥ Me. After a lot of indecisiveness, I’ve finally sat down and decided on what topic I want my very first online program and community to be focused on: Self-care. I have a few meditations already made and a curriculum set in place – just a matter of making it all become a reality! I’m hoping to get it ready for the first launch around late February or March.  If you’re interested to be one of the first to receive updates on the list, you can sign up for e-mail notifications here.

2) Run a 5K race. I actually signed up to do this in November 2013, but the race date was moved to February. So in February I’ll be doing the Run Or Dye 5K in San Francisco! Super excited!

3) Work up to the point of running a 10K. In the second half of 2013, I started the couch to 5K program and I feel like I’m ready to take it to the next level. So starting in January I’m going to start cranking it up a notch.

4) Run across the Golden Gate Bridge. I’ve thought of doing this for a few months now and in 2014 I’m going to do it! The Golden Gate is 1.77 miles long one way. Super excited to see the view while going across… I might just end up walking back just so I can really take in the beauty. 🙂

5) Go wine tasting in the Napa Valley. I’ve been in the area and driven passed the vineyards but I have yet to actually stop and check them out. This year is definitely the time to do that.

6) Go out to eat some Shabu Shabu in the US! This was my absolute favorite meal while living abroad in Korea. They give you a place of beef or seafood and vegetables and you could it in a boiling pot at your table. The meal is then finished with a serving of noodles with the broth and rice. It’s so good! If you’re intrigued and want to know more about what shabu shabu is, you can learn more here.

7) Get my abs back in shape. I used to do pilates and yoga like it was my job. After all the moving and traveling I’ve experienced since 2011, it’s accurate to say that my muscle strength has gone down. So one of my goals this year is to really focus on strengthening my power house (aka abdominals). And, as a result, hopefully improve my alignment and posture again.

8) Dance more. I love to dance. In the last couple years I’ve done it less than I normally do. So my intention this year is to have little “dance breaks” through out my dance. Just finished a coaching call? Time to dance! New blog post complete? Time to dance! I’m now going to make dancing my way to celebrate the completion of a task or project.

9) Give local talks and workshops. I’m going to give my very first official talk in this second week in January. Though I’m incredibly nervous, I’m also really excited! I love teaching and I miss it so my intention is to really reach out to the public to give talks and workshops in my local, surrounding areas, and maybe even while visiting other locations.

10) Create more guided meditations. This past month I randomly sat down and created three guided meditations off the cuff with great ease. Upon sharing these meditations with a few people, I’ve gotten the sense that I really have a knack for creating guided meditations. So my goal this year is to share recorded versions of the ones I’ve already written with all of you (through my I ♥ Me program and possible also for individual purchase) as well as create even more!

11) Visit LA. I’ve always wanted to visit and now that I’m living in California it makes it much easier to visit. My hope is that this year is the year. I’m not completely sure how I can get all the details to work out, but my hope is that by having a strong will I will find a way. 🙂

12) Develop a closer relationship to spirit. I’ve been feeling a strong pull for this in the last few months of 2013. Though I have moments where I feel very close, at ease, and as if having a close relationship with spirit is so incredibly easy, I also have difficulty. My intent is to create a better routine for myself so this is easier.

13) Pray more. This goes back to the previous goal. I’ve always felt that prayer is very powerful, so my intent for this year is to put more energy into prayer and less energy into worry or stress.

14) Sit and simply meditate more often. Even though I’m the one who wrote the blog Why I Don’t Meditate (And Things To Do Instead), I do actually find benefits in meditating – it may just not necessarily be in the same ways that others do. So my goal is that in times of stress and worry, to just sit and do a short guided meditation to help release whatever I need to. I’ve had several great moments this past November and December to confirm to me that this is something worth putting more energy into.

15) Create something every day. I have a lot of ideas – almost to the point that it’s overwhelming at times. As a result, I feel that its very important for me to make sure that these ideas come out some how and in some way so they can later be developed into bigger things. So my focus this year is to create at least one thing every day – big or small. As long as it’s something that is going to help me move forward.

16) Be more consciously aware of when I’m “pushing” myself too hard. One of the troubles I’ve had this year is that I push myself to do X, Y, Z but then I push myself so hard while doing those things that I’m drained and I find myself wanting to veg out in front of the TV. My goal is to create with a greater sense of ease. To create as if I’m a little child during playtime rather than stressing myself out to make a deadline that’s truly more flexible than I often perceive it to be.

17) Get a new Macbook. In 2014, my macbook will be turning 7 years old (yep she’s a strong one!). Though I’ll be sad to move on (since this is the very first laptop I bought for myself), I feel like it’s time to update.

18) Do the things that I strongly desire to do, but scare me the most. Through experience I’ve realized that often the things that terrify me the most also make me the most excited, so I feel that’s a sure sign that it’s something I really should be doing. So my goal this year is to really break through those fears and just do exactly what my heart is pulling me to do – no matter how terrifying it is.

19) Try to make as many mistakes as possible so I can learn how to do it right. By the time I am 28, my inner desire is to feel solid and grounded. I basically want to make all the mistakes I need to make in terms of blogging, giving talks and workshops, and so on this year so then I have more of the “ropes” figured out so I can really move forward.

20) Eat more greens. I’ve been gluten and dairy free this year (mostly), but one of the things I know I really need to eat more of more consistently is greens. I typically do good for a while and then I go back to not eating them much. So my goal this year is to really get a lot more greens in my system.

21) Make my very first homemade (gluten-free) perogies. In case you haven’t realized it my looking at my last name, I have a polish heritage. Perogies are polish dumplings. If you’re curious as to what perogies are, you can learn more about them here.  I have yet to ever make my own homemade perogies so this year I really want to try making some.

22) Create a workshop and online course on releasing negativity (both personally and relationally) or establishing boundaries. One of these I’m definitely going to do because I know a lot about them from experience. It’s just a matter of making it. If you have a personal preference on which you would like to me to create first, then feel free to message me and let me know!

23) Paint at least once a month. Near the end of 2013, painted my first watercolor painting in nearly a year. To my surprised, I still do remember a lot! So my goal is to really start painting again more often.

24) Get my life more organized. You know, I’m great with coming up with ideas, discussing philosophies or theories and so on but I’m not so great on the whole detail oriented part. Yeah I keep my apartment pretty clean and everything but in the midst of all my creative juices flowing this past year, I struggled a lot with really planning and implementing my true desires. So my hope is to really get certain personal things organized and implemented by the time I’m 28.

25) Create a solid morning routine. I want to create a solid self-care routine that I do every morning before I even eat breakfast or start any work. Just something to be sure that I’m starting off with each day with an intention.

26) Pay more attention to my dreams. I’ve been keeping a dream journal for nearly every night for the last two years. When I started out I really focused on paying attention to them to catch any little details that might pop up in my dreams but I haven’t been doing it lately. So this year I want to give my dreams more attention and see what emerges.

27) Get a Reiki session for my birthday. I got it booked for my 27th already – a Reiki session! I got one back when I was living in Korea and I haven’t gotten an individual one since then. I might even start making this an annual “birthday present for myself” thing.

28) Strive to see the beauty in everything. I’ve decided that my word for this year is “beautiful”, so my intention for this year is to see the beauty in everything – the good and the bad – and to really enjoy, love and appreciate what is through really seeing the beauty that is life.

Plus one bonus: Be published on the Huffington Post.  I’m making this a bonus because if it happens, fantastic.  If it doesn’t, then I’m not going to fret too much.  It’s something I’d like to have happen but there are definitely many other writing opportunities out there.

 

What are your intentions for this New Year? Any goals? New Years Resolutions? Anything that you want to do before your next birthday? Share below!

I Guess Your Marriage Isn’t for Me

This week the article Marriage Isn’t For You has gone viral and this has brought up some thoughts for me.

Though I very much so understand and respect the idea that when you are married (or in any relationship for that matter), that we should provide support for this other person in our life, there’s a part of me that is very hesitant to completely support and promote this idea.

Allow me to explain…

See, even though supporting and providing for others is good there is another big factor to the equation that we must consider: ourselves. If there is one thing that I have learned through out all of the relationships I’ve had in my life, it is this: If I “give give give” with the hope that I one day by giving so much I will experience happiness and fulfillment then I will forever be disappointed and unhappy.

The trouble is, when we give out of this belief that we should always be providing for the other person, we are now handing over our happiness completely over to someone else. In simple terms, this can be termed as people pleasing. In a more psychological term, this is called codependency: an addiction to other people.

I’m a recovering people pleaser, codependent, and “giver giver giver”. For years I found myself in relationships where I did make it all about that other person, but the trouble was, I never felt fulfilled. I always felt that something was lacking and yet I couldn’t figure out why because I was doing everything right according to this belief of “You always need to give and provide to other people to be a happy and loving person” that I was raised with.

And you know what? Ever since I let go of that belief and started focusing more on ME, my relationships have improved. I’m no longer drained, tired, and feeling unsupported. I no longer feel like I’m losing myself in other people and things. Rather, because I am supporting and helping myself I feel more connected to who I truly am and, as a result, I’m finally feeling supported in my relationships.

That’s the irony: We don’t find happiness and true love in other people, because love isn’t something to be sought after. Rather, we find love by completely loving ourselves and discovering that the love we are searching for is already within us.  We allow ourselves to BE love – and that’s definitely everything BUT selfish.

BeLove

Click to Tweet: “We find love by completely loving ourselves and discovering that the love we are searching for is already within us. @jenilyn8705”

I guess that means that maybe “marriage isn’t for me”. That may be true or it may not, but I’m not depending my happiness on getting married, having a house, a dog, 2.5 kids, and “giving giving giving” to everyone in hopes that one day I’ll magically find happiness and fulfillment.

I want bigger things. I want my all of my dreams to become a reality – which is SO much more than all of that because I only have this one life to live. And I’m not going to waste my life trying to fit into somebody else’s definition of what “marriage” or “happiness” is. Instead, I’m just going to do and be what I feel in my heart is right and hope that by doing so that creates more love along the way.

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